Learning by Doing: Opening and Concluding

1. Here are two possible opening paragraphs from a student essay on the importance of teaching children how to swim.
   1. Humans inhabit a world made up of over 70 percent water. In addition to these great bodies of water, we have built millions of swimming pools for sports and leisure activities. At one time or another most people will be faced with either the danger of drowning or the challenge of aquatic recreation. For these reasons, it is essential that we learn to swim. Being a competitive swimmer and a swimming instructor, I fully realize the importance of knowing how to swim.
   2. Four-year-old Carl, curious like most children, last spring ventured out onto his pool patio. He fell into the pool and, not knowing how to swim, helplessly sank to the bottom. Minutes later his uncle found the child and brought him to the surface. Because Carl had no pulse, his uncle administered CPR until the paramedics arrived. Eventually the child was revived. During his stay in the hospital, his mother signed him up for beginning swimming classes. Carl was a lucky one. Unlike thousands of other children and adults, he got a second chance.
   1. Which introduction is more effective? Why?
   2. What would the body of this essay consist of? What kinds of evidence would be included?
   3. Write a suitable conclusion for this essay.

   Question 21.2

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2. If you were to read each of the following introductions from professional essays, would you want to read the entire essay? Why?
   1. During my ninth hour underground, as I scrambled up a slanting tunnel through the powdered gypsum, Rick Bridges turned to me and said, “You know, this whole area was just discovered Tuesday.” (David Roberts, “Caving Comes into Its Golden Age: A New Mexico Marvel,” Smithsonian Nov. 1988: 52)
   2. From the batting average on the back of a George Brett baseball card to the interest rate fluctuations that determine whether the economy grows or stagnates, Americans are fascinated by statistics. (Stephen E. Nordlinger, “By the Numbers,” St. Petersburg Times 6 Nov. 1988: 11)
   3. “What does it look like under there?”

      It was always this question back then, always the same pattern of hello and what’s your name, what happened to your eye and what’s under there. (Natalie Kusz, “Waiting for a Glass Eye,” Road Song [New York: Farrar, 1990], rpt. in Harper’s Nov. 1990)

   Question 21.3

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3. How effective are these introductions and conclusions from student essays? Could they be improved? If so, how? If they are satisfactory, explain why. What would be a catchy yet informative title for each essay?
   1. Recently a friend down from New York astonished me with stories of several people infected—some with AIDS—by stepping on needles washed up on the New Jersey beaches. This is just one incident of pollution, a devastating problem in our society today. Pollution is increasing in our world because of greed, apathy, and Congress’s inability to control this problem. …

      Wouldn’t it be nice to have a pollution-free world without medical wastes floating in the water and washing up on our beaches? Without cars and power plants spewing greenhouse gases? With every corporation abiding by the laws set by Congress? In the future we can have a pollution-free world, but it is going to take the cooperation of everyone, including Congress, to ensure our survival on this Planet Earth.

   2. The divorce rate rose 700 percent in the last century and continues to rise. More than one out of every two couples who are married end up divorcing. Over one million children a year are affected by divorce in the family. From these statistics it is clear that one of the greatest problems concerning the family today is divorce and the adverse effects it has on our society. …

      Divorce causes problems that change people for life. The number of divorces will continue to exceed the 700 percent figure unless married couples learn to communicate, to accept their mates unconditionally, and to sacrificially give of themselves.

   Question 21.4

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4. Using a topic that you generated in Chapter 19, write at least three different introductions with conclusions. Ask classmates which is most effective.

   Question 21.5

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