Like pea pickers who throw out dirt and pebbles, good writers remove needless words that clog their prose. One of the chief joys of revising is to watch 200 paunchy words shrink to a svelte 150. To see how saving words helps, let’s look at some strategies for reducing wordiness.
See more on transitions.
Cut the Fanfare. Why bother to announce that you’re going to say something? Cut the fanfare. We aren’t, by the way, attacking the usefulness of transitions that lead readers along.
| WORD | As far as getting ready for winter is concerned, I put antifreeze in my car. |
| REVISED | To get ready for winter, I put antifreeze in my car. |
| WORDY | The point should be made that … |
| Let me make it perfectly clear that … | |
| In this paper I intend to … | |
| In conclusion I would like to say that … |
Use Strong Verbs. Forms of the verb be (am, is, are, was, were) followed by a noun or an adjective can make a statement wordy, as can There is or There are. Such weak verbs can almost always be replaced by active verbs.
| WORDY | The Akron game was a disappointment to the fans. |
| REVISED | The Akron game disappointed the fans. |
| WORDY | There are many people who dislike flying. |
| REVISED | Many people dislike flying. |
Use Relative Pronouns with Caution. When a clause begins with a relative pronoun (who, which, that), you often can whittle it to a phrase.
| WORDY | Venus, which is the second planet of the solar system, is called the evening star. |
| REVISED | Venus, the second planet of the solar system, is called the evening star. |
Cut Out Deadwood. The more you revise, the more shortcuts you’ll discover. Phrases such as on the subject of, in regard to, in terms of, and as far as…is concerned often simply fill space. Try reading the sentences below without the words in italics.
Howell spoke for the sophomores, and Janet also spoke for the seniors.
He is something of a clown but sort of the lovable type.
As a major in the field of economics, I plan to concentrate on the area of international banking.
The decision as to whether or not to go is up to you.
Cut Descriptors. Adjectives and adverbs are often dispensable.
| WORDY | Johnson’s extremely significant research led to highly important major discoveries. |
| REVISED | Johnson’s research led to major discoveries. |
Be Short, Not Long. While a long word may convey a shade of meaning that a shorter synonym doesn’t, in general favor short words over long ones. Instead of the remainder, write the rest; instead of activate, start or begin; instead of adequate or sufficient, enough. Look for the right word — one that wraps an idea in a smaller package.
| WORDY | Andy has a left fist that has a lot of power in it. |
| REVISED | Andy has a potent left. |
By the way, it pays to read. From reading, you absorb words like potent and set them to work for you.