21 | Active and Passive Voice

21|Active and Passive Voice

ACTIVE Intelligent students read challenging books.
PASSIVE Challenging books are read by intelligent students.

These two statements convey similar information, but their emphasis is different. The first sentence is active: the subject (students) performs the verb’s action (read). The second sentence is passive: the subject (books) receives the verb’s action (are read). The active sentence states its idea directly; the passive sentence states its idea indirectly.

21aIn most cases, use the active voice rather than the passive voice.

Verbs in the active voice consist of principal parts and helping verbs. Verbs in the passive voice consist of the past participle (-ed or -en form) preceded by a form of be (“you are given,” “I was given,” “she will be given”). Most writers prefer the active to the passive voice because it is clearer and simpler, requires fewer words, and identifies the actor and the action more explicitly.

ACTIVE VOICE Sergeants give orders. Privates obey them.

Normally the subject of a sentence is the focus of readers’ attention. If that subject does not perform the verb’s action but instead receives the action, readers may wonder: What did the writer mean to emphasize?

PASSIVE VOICE Orders are given by sergeants. They are obeyed by privates.

Other writers misuse the passive voice to try to lend pomp to a humble truth (or would-be truth). For example, “Slight technical difficulties are being experienced” may replace “The airplane needs repairs.” Some even use the passive voice deliberately to obscure the truth.

21bUse the passive voice in certain cases.

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You do not need to drop the passive voice entirely from your writing. Sometimes the performer of a verb’s action is irrelevant, as in a lab report, which emphasizes the research, not the researcher. Sometimes the performer is understood:

Automobiles are built in Detroit.

Other times the performer is unknown and simply omitted:

Many fortunes were lost in the stock market crash of 1929.

It’s a good idea, though, to substitute the active voice for the passive unless you have a good reason for using the passive:

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EXERCISE 21-1 Using Active and Passive Voice Verbs

Revise the following passage, changing the passive voice to the active voice in each sentence, unless you can justify keeping the passive. Example:

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The unique creatures of the Galápagos Islands have been studied by many scientists. The islands were explored by Charles Darwin in 1835. His observations led to theory of evolution, which he explained in On the Origin of Species. Thirteen species of finches on the islands were discovered by Darwin, all descended from a common stock; even today this variety of species can be seen by visitors to the islands. Each island species has evolved by adapting to local conditions. A twig is used by the woodpecker finch to probe trees for grubs. Algae on the ocean floor are fed on by the marine iguana. Salt water can be drunk by the Galápagos cormorant, thanks to a salt-extracting gland. Because of the tameness of these animals, they can be studied by visitors at close range.

Learning by Doing Considering Language

Learning by Doingimage Considering Language

Examine the sentence style of a written artifact (essay, piece of writing, song, Internet meme, etc.). What problems can you find with its modifiers, parallelism, variety, and other issues discussed in this chapter? Do you think the syle choices were intentional? How might you improve the writing?

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Take Action Improving Sentence Style

Ask each question listed in the left-hand column to consider whether your draft might need work in that area. If so, follow the ASK—LOCATE SPECIFICS—TAKE ACTION sequence to revise.

1 ASK 2 LOCATE SPECIFICS 3 TAKE ACTION
Have I missed opportunities to emphasize comparable ideas by stating them in comparable ways?

  • Read your sentences, looking for lists or comparable items.

  • Underline items in a series to compare the ways you present them.

DRAFT: Observing primates can reveal how they cooperate, their tool use, and building secure nests.

  • Rework so that items in a series all follow the same grammatical pattern.

  • Select the common pattern based on the clarity and emphasis it adds to your sentence.

PARALLEL: Observing primates can reveal how they cooperate, use tools, and build secure nests.
Do my sentences sound alike because they repeat the same opening, pattern, or length?

  • Add a line break at the end of every sentence in a passage so you can easily compare sentence openings, patterns, or lengths.

  • Count the words in each sentence with your software (or do it yourself).

  • Search for variations such as colons (:) and semicolons (;) to see how often you use them.

  • Rewrite for variety if you repeat openings (During, Because, After, Then, And).

  • Rewrite for directness if you repeat indirect openings (There are, There is, It is).

  • Rewrite to vary sentence lengths. Tuck in a few short sentences. Combine choppy sentences. Add a complicated sentence to build up to your point.

  • Try some colons or semicolons for variety.
Have I relied on sentences in the passive voice instead of the active voice?

  • Reread each sentence. If its subject also performs the action, it is in the active voice. (Underline the performer; double underline the action.)

  • If the sentence subject does not perform the action, your sentence is in the passive voice. You have tucked the performer into a by phrase or have not identified the performer.

  • Consider changing passive voice to active. Make the performer of the action the sentence subject (which reduces extra words by dropping the by phrase).

PASSIVE: The primate play area was arranged by the zookeeper. (9 words; emphasizes object of the action)

ACTIVE: The zookeeper arranged the primate play area. (7 words; emphasizes zookeeper who performed the action)