CHAPTER 13

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Later Life: Cognitive and Socioemotional Development

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Ten years ago, at age 62, Susan and Carl retired. They were healthy (at the time)—and with Carl’s investments and their pensions—well off. They were passionate to enjoy these final decades, to travel, to focus on the moment, to revel in this new phase of life. Carl and Susan never had children, but they had their nieces and nephews and many friends. In particular, Susan was close to her niece, Emma, who called her favorite aunt, “my adoptive mom.”

For Susan and Carl, retirement meant spending time with their closest friends and family members, like Emma. It involved devoting weekdays to volunteering at church and taking those well-loved cruises to Mexico, the Mediterranean, and Marrakesh. Most of all, it meant having the joy of being together as a couple, free from the demands of work. Carl’s heart disease—first diagnosed at age 66—lent poignancy to their shared life. As it turned out, their retirement years were priceless, but they were over too soon. After several bypass surgeries, and years of declining health, Carl died of a massive stroke.

After Carl’s death, Susan felt numb. How can you go on without your high school sweetheart, your life love for more than 50 years? But she was astonished by her mixed emotions: the loneliness and sense of loss, even when surrounded by her friends; the incredible joy (for the priceless relationship she and Carl had); the relief that Carl never had to suffer being bedridden; pride in her ability to go on.

Actually, for the most part (bless the Lord), Susan has been amazed at her inner strength. Realizing that as an “old lady of 72” she needed to make a new life, Susan enrolled in an adult education program at the local college. With Emma’s help, she mustered the courage to construct a profile on a seniors’ dating website. Of course, no one will ever, ever take Carl’s place. But wouldn’t it be fun to try dating, liberated from the fears of being rejected or anxieties about making an adult life she had at age 21!

Susan’s life changed dramatically from the time she and Carl retired until her husband got sick and died. These two chapters capture the developmental shifts people experience as they travel through the young-old (sixties and seventies) and old-old (over age 80) years. In the current chapter, I’ll focus on cognition and the socioemotional side of later life. In Chapter 14, I’ll be following Susan as she moves into her eighties and confronts physical frailties of advanced old age.

Susan’s life differs dramatically from most elderly widows around the globe—in her lifestyle, in her open attitudes toward dating, in having the income to enjoy her older years. Still, in one way, her experience is similar to millions of other people her age. She is a foot soldier in a late-life army storming through the developed world.