Part 5 Introduction

One observer said adolescence is like “starting turbo-charged engines with an unskilled driver” (Dahl, 2004). Would you ride with an unskilled driver? I did. When my daughter Bethany had her learner’s permit, I sought to convey confidence. Not until I heard a terrified “Mom! Help!” did I grab the wheel to avoid hitting a subway kiosk. I should have intervened sooner, but it is hard to know when adult-size children need their mothers. Bethany was an adolescent, neither child nor adult, sometimes wanting independence, sometimes not.

It used to be easier to parent a teenager. A century ago, puberty didn’t begin until age 15 or so. Soon after that, most girls married and most boys found work. It is said that adolescence begins with biology and ends with society. If so, then a hundred years ago adolescence lasted a few months. Currently, it lasts a decade or more, and for our purposes we define adolescence as lasting from about age 11 to age 18. Indeed, the period that was once considered late adolescence (from age 18 to adulthood) is now considered a separate period, called emerging adulthood in this book and others.

Understanding adolescence is more than an abstract challenge: Those turbo-charged engines need skilled guidance. Get ready to grab the wheel.