3d. Making paragraphs coherent
When sentences and paragraphs flow from one to another without discernible bumps, gaps, or shifts, they are said to be coherent. Coherence can be improved by strengthening the ties between old information and new. A number of techniques for strengthening those ties are detailed in this section.
Linking ideas clearly
Readers expect to learn a paragraph’s main point in a topic sentence early in the paragraph. Then, as they move into the body of the paragraph, they expect to encounter specific details, facts, or examples that support the topic sentence—either directly or indirectly.
If a sentence does not support the topic sentence directly, readers expect it to support another sentence in the paragraph and therefore to support the topic sentence indirectly. The following paragraph begins with a topic sentence. The highlighted sentences are direct supports, and the rest of the sentences are indirect supports.
Though the open-space classroom works for many children, it is not practical for my son, David. First, David is hyperactive. When he was placed in an open-space classroom, he became distracted and confused. He was tempted to watch the movement going on around him instead of concentrating on his own work. Second, David has a tendency to transpose letters and numbers, a tendency that can be overcome only by individual attention from the instructor. In the open classroom he was moved from teacher to teacher, with each one responsible for a different subject. No single teacher worked with David long enough to diagnose the problem, let alone help him with it. Finally, David is not a highly motivated learner. In the open classroom, he was graded “at his own level,” not by criteria for a certain grade. He could receive a B in reading and still be a grade level behind, because he was doing satisfactory work “at his own level.”
—Margaret Smith, student
Repeating key words
Repetition of key words is an important technique for gaining coherence. To prevent repetitions from becoming dull, you can use variations of a key word (hike, hiker, hiking), pronouns referring to the word (gamblers . . . they), and synonyms (run, spring, race, dash). In the following paragraph describing plots among indentured servants in the seventeenth century, historian Richard Hofstadter binds sentences together by repeating the key word plots and echoing it with a variety of synonyms (which are highlighted).
Plots hatched by several servants to run away together occurred mostly in the plantation colonies, and the few recorded servant uprisings were entirely limited to those colonies. Virginia had been forced from its very earliest years to take stringent steps against mutinous plots, and severe punishments for such behaviour were recorded. Most servant plots occurred in the seventeenth century: a contemplated uprising was nipped in the bud in York County in 1661; apparently led by some left-wing offshoots of the Great Rebellion, servants plotted an insurrection in Gloucester County in 1663, and four leaders were condemned and executed; some discontented servants apparently joined Bacon’s Rebellion in the 1670’s. In the 1680’s the planters became newly apprehensive of discontent among the servants “owing to their great necessities and want of clothes,” and it was feared they would rise up and plunder the storehouses and ships; in 1682 there were plant-cutting riots in which servants and laborers, as well as some planters, took part.
—Richard Hofstadter, America at 1750
Using parallel structures
Parallel structures are frequently used within sentences to underscore the similarity of ideas (see 9). They may also be used to bind together a series of sentences expressing similar information. In the following passage describing folk beliefs, anthropologist Margaret Mead presents similar information in parallel grammatical form.
Actually, almost every day, even in the most sophisticated home, something is likely to happen that evokes the memory of some old folk belief. The salt spills. A knife falls to the floor. Your nose tickles. Then perhaps, with a slightly embarrassed smile, the person who spilled the salt tosses a pinch over his left shoulder. Or someone recites the old rhyme, “Knife falls, gentleman calls.” Or as you rub your nose you think, That means a letter. I wonder who’s writing?
—Margaret Mead, “New Superstitions for Old”
Maintaining consistency
Coherence suffers whenever a draft shifts confusingly from one point of view to another or from one verb tense to another. (See 13.) In addition, coherence can suffer when new information is introduced with the subject of each sentence. As a rule, a sentence’s subject should echo a subject or an object in the previous sentence.
Providing transitions
Transitions help readers move from sentence to sentence; they also alert readers to more global connections of ideas—those between paragraphs or even larger blocks of text.
Sentence-level transitions Certain words and phrases signal connections between (or within) sentences. Frequently used transitions are included in the chart at the bottom of the page.
Skilled writers use transitional expressions with care, making sure, for example, not to use consequently when also would be more precise. They are also careful to select transitions with an appropriate tone, perhaps preferring so to thus in an informal piece, in summary to in short for a scholarly essay.
In the following paragraph, taken from an argument that dinosaurs had the “‘right-sized’ brains for reptiles of their body size,” biologist Stephen Jay Gould uses transitions (highlighted) with skill.
I don’t wish to deny that the flattened, minuscule head of large bodied Stegosaurus houses little brain from our subjective, top-heavy perspective, but I do wish to assert that we should not expect more of the beast. First of all, large animals have relatively smaller brains than related, small animals. The correlation of brain size with body size among kindred animals (all reptiles, all mammals, for example) is remarkably regular. As we move from small to large animals, from mice to elephants or small lizards to Komodo dragons, brain size increases, but not so fast as body size. In other words, bodies grow faster than brains, and large animals have low ratios of brain weight to body weight. In fact, brains grow only about two-thirds as fast as bodies. Since we have no reason to believe that large animals are consistently stupider than their smaller relatives, we must conclude that large animals require relatively less brain to do as well as smaller animals. If? we do not recognize this relationship, we are likely to underestimate the mental power of very large animals, dinosaurs in particular.
—Stephen Jay Gould, “Were Dinosaurs Dumb?”
Paragraph-level transitions Paragraph-level transitions usually link the first sentence of a new paragraph with the first sentence of the previous paragraph. In other words, the topic sentences signal global connections.
Look for opportunities to allude to the subject of a previous paragraph (as summed up in its topic sentence) in the topic sentence of the next one. In his essay “Little Green Lies,” Jonathan H. Adler uses this strategy in the following topic sentences, which appear in a passage describing the benefits of plastic packaging.
Transitions between blocks of text In long essays, you will need to alert readers to connections between blocks of text that are more than one paragraph long. You can do this by inserting transitional sentences or short paragraphs at key points in the essay. Here, for example, is a transitional paragraph from a student research paper. It announces that the first part of the paper (about how apes demonstrate language skills) has come to a close and the second part (about whether they understand grammar) is about to begin.
Although the great apes have demonstrated significant language skills, one central question remains: Can they be taught to use that uniquely human language tool we call grammar, to learn the difference, for instance, between “ape bite human” and “human bite ape”? In other words, can an ape create a sentence?
Another strategy to help readers move from one block of text to another is to insert headings in your essay. Headings, which usually sit above blocks of text, allow you to announce a new topic boldly, without the need for subtle transitions.
Academic English
Choose transitions carefully and vary them appropriately. Each transition has a different meaning (see the chart below). If you do not use a transition with an appropriate meaning, you might confuse your readers.
Common transitions
To show addition: and, also, besides, further, furthermore, in addition, moreover, next, too, first, second
To give examples: for example, for instance, to illustrate, in fact, specifically
To compare: also, in the same manner, similarly, likewise
To contrast: but, however, on the other hand, in contrast, nevertheless, still, even though, on the contrary, yet, although
To summarize or conclude: in short, in summary, in conclusion, to sum up, therefore
To show time: after, as, before, next, during, later, finally, meanwhile, then, when, while, immediately
To show place or direction: above, below, beyond, nearby, opposite, close, to the left
To indicate logical relationship: if, so, therefore, consequently, thus, as a result, for this reason, because, since