HOW TO COMMUNICATE: Competent Conversations
HOW TO COMMUNICATE|Video Skills
COMPETENT CONVERSATIONS
One way to improve your communication competence is by adapting your messages to others’ behaviors. Learn how to navigate difficult conversations by completing the How to Communicate video activity below.
CONSIDER THIS:
Your professor assigns you to work with Jacob, your ex’s best friend. When you and your ex were dating, Jacob was friendly and supportive, and the two of you got along well. But the breakup was ugly, and you and Jacob haven’t talked since. As you meet with Jacob to brainstorm ideas, there’s obvious tension. You decide to break the ice and ask him how he’s doing. Jacob responds with an icy “Fine,” then says, “So, have you destroyed any new lives recently?”
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
The advice below illustrates how competent communication skills can keep the encounter productive. As you watch the video, consider how the dialogue reflects each element of competence—appropriateness, effectiveness, and ethics. Then, test your knowledge of key skills, and create your own responses to the What if? video prompts on the next page.
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KEEP YOUR COMMUNICATION APPROPRIATE, given the setting, by not angrily responding to Jacob’s taunt and by offering an alternative encounter for personal discussion. (“I don’t think this is the right time or place to talk about this. If you want to hang out and talk after class, that would be fine.”)
COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY by keeping your conversation focused on the task at hand and by encouraging Jacob to do the same. (“I’ve got a couple of ideas for the project, but I’d like to hear your ideas first.”)
MAKE YOUR MESSAGES ETHICAL by treating Jacob with kindness and respect, despite his rudeness. (“I know you’re really angry with me, and I admire you for that, because it shows you’re loyal and devoted to your friend. But I’m hoping we can put the past behind us for the sake of the project. What do you think?”)