In all cultures, norms exist regarding how people should and shouldn’t express emotion. These norms are called display rules: guidelines for when, where, and how to manage emotion displays appropriately (Ekman & Friesen, 1975). Display rules govern very specific aspects of your nonverbal communication, such as how broadly you should smile, whether or not you should scowl when angry, and the appropriateness of shouting in public when you’re excited. (For more on nonverbal communication displays, see Chapter 6, pp. 137–138.) Children learn such display rules and, over time, internalize them to the point where following these rules seems “normal.” This is why you likely think of the way you express emotion as natural, rather than as something that has been socialized into you through your culture (Hayes & Metts, 2008).

Because of differences in socialization and traditions, display rules vary across cultures (Soto, Levenson, & Ebling, 2005). Take the two fastest-growing ethnic groups in the United States—Mexican Americans and Chinese Americans (Buriel & De Ment, 1997). In traditional Chinese culture, people prioritize emotional control and moderation; intense emotions are considered dangerous and are even thought to cause illness (Wu & Tseng, 1985). This belief even shapes communication in close relationships. Chinese American couples don’t openly express positive emotions toward each other as often as Euro-American couples do (Tsai & Levenson, 1997). Meanwhile, in traditional Mexican culture, people openly express emotion, even more so than those in Euro-American culture (Soto et al., 2005). For people of Mexican descent, the experience, expression, and deep discussion of emotions provide some of life’s greatest rewards and satisfactions.

When families immigrate to a new society, the move often provokes tension over which display rules they should follow. People more closely oriented to their cultures of origin continue to communicate their emotions in traditional ways. Others—usually the first generation of children born in the new society—may move away from traditional forms of emotional expression (Soto et al., 2005). For example, Chinese Americans who adhere strongly to traditional Chinese culture openly display fewer negative emotions than do those who are Americanized (Soto et al., 2005). Similarly, Mexican Americans with strong ties to traditional Mexican culture express intense negative emotions more openly than their Americanized counterparts.

It’s important to be aware of these differences when communicating with others. An emotional expression—such as a loud shout of intense joy—might be considered shocking and inappropriate in some cultures but perfectly normal and natural in others. At the same time, don’t presume that all people from the same culture necessarily share the same expectations. As much as possible, adjust your expressions of emotion to match the style of the individuals with whom you’re interacting.