Even when you understand what culture is, how co-cultures work, and the ways culture influences communication, you can still have trouble communicating with people from different backgrounds. To work toward competence, be mindful of the differences discussed so far, actively seek to understand other cultures, and adapt your communication as needed.

In the award-winning movie Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood plays Walt, a bitter, racist widower who lives alone in Michigan, estranged from his sons. Despite his bigoted attitudes, Walt strikes up a friendship with two Hmong teens who live next door—Sue and Thao—after he saves Thao from a gang beating. To help Walt communicate more effectively with the Hmong, Sue teaches him some simple rules: Never touch a Hmong on the head, because they believe that the soul resides there. Don’t look a Hmong straight in the eye; they consider it rude. Don’t be surprised if a Hmong smiles when he or she is embarrassed; that’s how they handle that emotion. In return, Walt teaches Thao how to communicate during a job interview with an American construction foreman: “Look him straight in the eye, and give a firm handshake!” He even instructs Thao on the art of trading teasing insults with American male friends. As these unlikely friendships deepen, Walt (to his astonishment) realizes he has more in common with his neighbors than with his own family.

Like Walt, Thao, and Sue, you will likely form lasting bonds with people who come from cultures vastly different from your own. The gateway to such connections is intercultural competence, the ability to communicate appropriately, effectively, and ethically with people from diverse backgrounds. You can strengthen your intercultural competence by applying the following practices: world-mindedness, attributional complexity, and communication accommodation.