CONSIDER THE DILEMMA

During your second semester at school, you move into a house with several other people. One of your housemates, Adoni, is an international student who differs from you in ethnicity, religion, and socioeconomic status. Having never lived with anyone but family members before, you are often amazed at Adoni’s beliefs and experiences. When Adoni shares stories about life growing up in a small village that lacked what you consider basic essentials, you can’t help but think, “How could anyone live like that!?” The more Adoni shares, the more you feel superior. Your culture and upbringing just seem so much better than Adoni’s.

However, you also quickly learn that Adoni is kind and generous. When you were stuck on a series of calculus proofs, Adoni took two hours to help you work through them. Then, when you came down with mono, Adoni helped you stay caught up in your classes, even sitting in on lectures and taking notes for you.

As the months go by, you find your mixed feelings toward Adoni intensifying. On the one hand, Adoni is honest, direct, and supportive. The two of you even share a lot of the same interests and tastes. But you’re not sure whether you could ever be close, because Adoni is so culturally different. Although you like Adoni, you still feel that Adoni’s cultural beliefs and traditions are silly and backwards.

One night, when the two of you are studying, Adoni says, “You know, it’s been really hard for me, adjusting to life here. Everything is so dif-ferent. But your friendship has really helped. I consider you my best friend. How do you feel about me?”

CONNECT THE RESEARCH

Scholars Lily Arasaratnam and Smita Banerjee (2007) looked at the impact that ethnocentrism—the belief that one’s own cultural beliefs, attitudes, values, and practices are superior to those of others—had on the development of friendships. They surveyed over 400 African American, Asian American, Euro-American, and Hispanic college students, measuring ethnocentrism, the students’ desire to form friendships with culturally diverse others, and the number of close friends students had from culturally dissimilar backgrounds.

Arasaratnam and Banerjee found that the more people believed things like “my culture is superior to all others” and “most cultures are backwards compared to my culture” (i.e., ethnocentrism), the less interested they were in learning about other cultures. Those with ethnocentric beliefs were also substantially less motivated to form new friendships with culturally different others and reported considerably fewer cross-cultural friends. In short, ethnocentrism acts as a powerful barrier against forming such relationships.

This research shows that although it’s important to possess pride in your cultural heritage, believing that your culture is superior to all others can cause you to avoid relationships with diverse others. Consequently, be mindful of the degree to which you judge others as culturally inferior, and always keep in mind that most people feel as strongly about their own cultural backgrounds as you feel about yours.

COMMUNICATE

Before making a communication choice, consider the facts of the situation, and think about the ethnocentrism research. Also, reflect on what you’ve learned so far about culture (pp. 84–92), intercultural competence (pp. 102–107), and perception (pp. 41–45). Then answer these questions:

What are your thoughts and feelings toward Adoni? How is your view of your own culture’s superiority impacting your thoughts and feelings?

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How does Adoni view you and your culture? Does Adoni have the characteristics you look for in a good friend? Why or why not?

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What are you going to say to Adoni?

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