HOW TO COMMUNICATE: Disagreement with Family
HOW TO COMMUNICATE|Video Skills
DISAGREEMENT WITH FAMILY
One way to improve your communication competence is by adapting your messages to others’ behaviors. Learn how to navigate a disagreement with a family member by completing the How to Communicate video below.
CONSIDER THIS:
Your mom decides that a great way for your family to reconnect is to take a two-week road trip next summer, driving across the country to see your grandparents. She sends you and your siblings an e-mail, highlighting the sights you’ll see and how much “fun” it will be. Everyone is excited—except you. Although you get along well with your family, the idea of being trapped in a car with them for half a month sounds like a nightmare! What’s more, you’d planned on working full-time over the summer to earn money for school.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
The advice below illustrates how to use your verbal communication skills when handling sensitive topics. As you watch the video, consider how the dialogue reflects the cooperative principle and properly uses “I” and “we” language. Then, test your knowledge of key skills, and create your own responses to the What if? video prompts on the next page.
Download transcript
SCHEDULE AN OFFLINE ENCOUNTER WITH YOUR MOM by sending her an e-mail or text, asking when she can talk with you on the phone or meet with you in person. (“I’d like to talk with you about our plans for next summer. When would be a good time for me to call? Or can we talk at home this weekend? I’ll be there on Saturday morning.”)
EXPRESS YOUR OPINION INFORMATIVELY AND HONESTLY, being careful to use “I” language to take accountability for your feelings. (“I know how excited everyone is about the trip, especially you. But I just can’t take two weeks off from work. I need those hours to afford school next year. I hope you can understand my situation, and that I’m not disappointing you too much with my decision.”)
USE “WE” LANGUAGE TO EMPHASIZE FAMILY INCLUSION, offering alternatives for a family get-together. (“Why don’t we invite Grandma and Grandpa to fly out and join us for the Fourth of July? I have that weekend off, so we can all be together and reconnect as a family.”)