cacfull_ch05

Verbal Aggression

Verbal aggression is the use of language to attack someone’s personal attributes, such as their weight, looks, intelligence, or physical ability (Infante & Wigley, 1986). Verbal aggression is distinct from prejudiced language in three respects: the goal is to intentionally injure a particular person’s feelings, the attack targets unique personal attributes rather than group affiliation, and the message often includes profanity.

Verbal aggression can take the form of cyberbullying: habitually attacking a person using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies, or mobile phones.³ Individuals engage in cyberbullying by sending numerous insulting text messages, such as “u r so fat and ugly!” or writing Facebook wall posts denouncing someone as a “whore” or “loser.” The impact of cyberbullying can be devastating. Such was the case with Phoebe Prince—a high school student in Massachusetts—who killed herself following repeated acts of verbal aggression by her fellow female students via text messages, Facebook posts, and face-to-face encounters.

Why are people verbally aggressive? Sometimes the behavior is triggered by a temporary state of stress, anger, or exhaustion. Other times it’s in reaction to real or perceived slights. In the Phoebe Prince case, the girls attacked her because they felt Phoebe had “crossed a line” by befriending and dating their boyfriends (Bazelon, 2010). Still others act that way because they believe that using profanity, insults, and threats will get them what they want, like Cartman from South Park.

It’s hard to communicate competently with verbally aggressive people. Imagine giving a speech in a public forum such as a student union meeting and having someone stand up and yell, “Shut up, you loser!” What would you say and do? To manage verbally aggressive individuals, researcher Dominic Infante (1995) offers three suggestions:

Avoid communicating in ways that may trigger aggression in the first place, such as teasing, baiting, or insulting others.
If you know someone who is chronically verbally aggressive—meaning he or she is verbally aggressive most of the time—avoid or minimize contact with that person.
If you can’t avoid such interactions, try to remain polite and respectful during them. Don’t interrupt the aggressive person. Stay calm, and acknowledge the other person’s perspective if possible. Avoid retaliating with personal attacks of your own; they’ll only escalate the aggression.

For ideas on how to handle verbal aggression online, see Table 5.2.