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Personal Space

How close or far away you position yourself from others while communicating is known as proxemics, from the Latin word proximus, meaning “near.” Proxemics often illustrates the nature of the encounter and how you feel about the people with whom you’re interacting. There are four different zones for physical distance, and each is used in specific kinds of settings (E. T. Hall, 1963):

Intimate space ranges from 0 to 18 inches. Most people use this only with people to whom they feel extremely close. (see Figure 6.2.)
Personal space ranges from 18 inches to 4 feet and is often used during encounters with friends.
Social space ranges from about 4 feet to 12 feet. Many people use it when communicating in the workplace or with acquaintances and strangers.
Public space ranges upward from 12 feet—including great distances—and is used during formal occasions, such as public speeches or college lectures.

Of course, these distances aren’t absolute; different people have different preferences for space. You may feel crowded if people sit closer than two feet from you, whereas your best friend may be perfectly comfortable sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with others. Space preferences also vary widely across cultures (Chen & Starosta, 2005). For example, during casual conversations, most North Americans feel comfortable an arm’s-length distance apart. Latin Americans, North Africans, and those from the northern and western Middle East tend to prefer a closer distance. Japanese and Chinese tend to keep a larger distance. Failure to appreciate these differences can cause awkwardness and anxiety during cross-cultural encounters. People from cultures emphasizing closer distance may keep edging closer to their conversation partner and may judge the other person as “aloof” and “standoffish” if he or she keeps backing away. Correspondingly, people from cultures emphasizing larger distances will be baffled by and uncomfortable with perceived invasions of their space. Because violations of space expectations can cause discomfort, try to adjust your use of space in accordance with others’ preferences whenever possible.