To communicate competently, you sometimes need to inhibit, or control, your nonverbal behaviors. Many contexts and cultures require that you limit nonverbal expression of intense emotions. For example, leaders during crisis situations are expected to demonstrate calm instead of openly displaying their anxiety or fear (Riggio, 2006). A calm leader is less likely to trigger panic in his or her followers during a crisis. Imagine how you’d feel if the president of the United States, during a national crisis, gave a speech while nervously looking around, fidgeting uncontrollably, and gesturing with trembling hands. It wouldn’t matter what was said; your confidence would be swiftly eroded simply by the lack of nonverbal control. Keep this in mind whenever you occupy leadership positions. Similarly, many cultures—especially those emphasizing collectivism (such as China)—have display rules discouraging direct expressions of powerful emotions, such as anger. Within such cultures, you’d want to suppress those kinds of expressions, such as the urge to scowl, shout, or shake your fist in response to a group member’s argument.

The key to learning nonverbal inhibition is to practice critical self-reflection. Identify situations that evoke strong emotional reactions in you. Perhaps these include job interviews, class presentations, and interactions with difficult family members. Then, reflect on how your thoughts and feelings affect your nonverbal communication in these situations. What is it that sets you off in these encounters? How might you think about each situation differently, and what changes could you make to get better results?

For instance, suppose you dread spending time with your brother because you think he resents your success and is therefore angry with you. This fear triggers nervous behaviors—such as avoiding eye contact and fidgeting with your hair—when you get together with him. The behaviors in turn create a sense of distance between you. How might you think about the situation differently to control this fear and avoid unwanted nonverbal behaviors? Perhaps you could envision your brother’s attitude toward you as stemming from pain, not resentment. If you reframe the situation that way, you may feel less fearful when you’re with your brother and more compassionate instead—an emotion that’s less likely to trigger nervous behaviors. Then you could practice actively making changes to your nonverbal behaviors to increase intimacy, such as making more eye contact. Mastering this process can help you inhibit nonverbal emotion displays when it’s important to do so.