Perhaps the greatest challenge to active listening is overcoming selective listening, taking in only bits and pieces of information from a speaker (those that attract your attention the most) and dismissing the rest. For example, you pay attention when your manager explains new menu options during a weekly meeting because you work as a server. But you tune out after that and miss an important update on requesting time off. When you selectively listen, you lose out on the opportunity to learn information from others that may affect important personal or professional outcomes.

Selective listening is difficult to avoid because it is the natural result of fluctuating attention. To overcome selective listening, you shouldn’t strive to listen to everything all at once. Instead, seek to slowly and steadily broaden the range of information you can actively attend to during your encounters with others. You can do this by practicing the suggestions for enhancing attention discussed earlier in this chapter (p. 163). The most important technique is to avoid multitasking with mediated communication—such as phone calls and text messages—which splits your attention when listening to others.