Although it sounds like a cliché, improving your active listening skills will improve your life. If you’re a skilled listener, people will perceive you as a more competent communicator overall, and you’ll benefit both professionally and personally as a result.

Sources as varied as CNN, Vanity Fair, and Bill O’Reilly have described Oprah Winfrey as “the world’s most powerful woman.”² She has won 35 Emmys, was nominated for an Oscar, and is the wealthiest African American in history. But though her rise to the top was undoubtedly powered by her brilliance, charisma, and work ethic, Oprah herself cites a different source for her success: listening. She built her media empire on her talent as a talk-show host, and the central skill she wielded within that role was active listening. As she explains, “Everybody wants to be heard. Toni Morrison said that what every child wants to know is, ‘Do your eyes light up when I enter the room? Did you hear me and did what I say mean anything to you?’ That’s all they’re looking for. That’s what everybody is looking for. . . . And the reason I think my ability to communicate with people around the world has been so rewarded is because I actually understand that. If I am sitting at a restaurant, people come up to me, sit down, bring their children. The reason people open up so much is because they know that I am going to really listen to them, I’m not going to ridicule them, and they’re going to leave with a sense of dignity” (Academy of Achievement, 1991).

Oprah’s testimonial reminds us of the importance and impact of active listening: how listening to others can make them feel valued and respected. How can you listen in such powerful, positive ways? At the heart of active listening are three skills: managing nonverbal and verbal feedback, adapting listening to speakers and situations, and recognizing the value of silence.