A key theme that runs throughout this chapter is the importance of quickly and flexibly adapting your listening styles and functions, depending on the speaker to whom you’re listening and the demands of the situation. When it comes to listening actively, one size (or approach) does not fit all. For example, and as discussed earlier, people of different genders or from different cultures often have very different expectations about what counts as competent listening. This is why it’s important to take these differences into consideration when communicating, and adapt your listening as needed.

In addition, situational demands are dynamic, not static. Communication encounters are always changing, and with these changes come varying demands in what is expected of your listening. For instance, imagine that you’re having a group meeting, and the discussion is focused on critiquing the research the group is including in the final presentation. Suddenly, one of the group members, who has been grinning throughout the meeting, says, “Hold on a second. I can’t stand it anymore. I just have to tell you guys: I got engaged last night!” Continuing to listen in an analytical fashion at this point (saying, “That’s nice, but let’s stick to assessing the research. There’s a problem with . . .”) would be completely inappropriate. Instead, you instantly shift to listening to provide support and a people-oriented style (“I am so excited for you! Congratulations!”). To be an active listener, be mindful of the situational demands, the purpose of the encounter, and the needs and wants of the speaker—and then adapt your listening skills accordingly. For additional hints on how to be an active listener, see Table 7.2.