If you choose accommodation, you manage conflict by abandoning your own goals or actions and giving in to others’ desires. Taylor Swift took this approach when she allowed Kanye West to take the microphone away from her and challenge her victory. Similar to avoidance, accommodation may result in positive or negative outcomes, depending on the situation and your relationship with the others involved. For example, accommodating close relational partners is a hallmark of healthy relationships (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992). Putting their needs before your own, at least on occasion, shows them that you love them and you’re willing to make sacrifices to ensure their happiness. But if accommodation runs in only one direction—one person always giving in to the other, never the other way around—the person who always gives in will probably build up resentment and grow dissatisfied with the relationship (Sprecher, 2001).

Whether you choose accommodation depends in part on your power in the situation and the relationship—that is, your ability to influence or control important resources, people, and events (Donohue & Kolt, 1992). Powerful people can choose whether they wish to accommodate others or not, without fear of reprisal. People without power must accommodate those who have power—or they could suffer harmful consequences. For example, suppose you work as a barista at a coffee shop and are an “at-will” employee, meaning that your manager has the authority to fire you at any time, for any reason, without cause or notice. Your manager has enormous power over you, so when he asks you to stay late and work an extra shift, you’ll probably accommodate his request—even if you have to give up your plans for the evening. After all, if you don’t accommodate him, you might lose your job. Correspondingly, if you are the manager—and have the power—you have the freedom to pick and choose whether you want to accommodate employees who ask favors of you (such as a night off), without fear of repercussion from your decision. People have different types of power that they can use in various ways. For an overview of the different types of power, see Table 8.1.