When you share private information with others, you open up your innermost self to them. Such sharing, known as self-disclosure, is the foundation for intimacy in a relationship. But it’s not as simple as “sharing equals closeness.” Instead, you must know what, why, and when to disclose in order to build happy and enduring relationships.

The novel The Help by Kathryn Stockett (2009) tells the story of a literary collaboration and friendship that cuts across ethnic lines in early 1960s Mississippi. At the center of the story are three women: affluent white author Skeeter and two African American maids, Aibileen and Minny. Aibileen cleans houses and cares for the children of various white families. Minny serves as a maid when she can but frequently gets fired for refusing to let her white employers bully her. Witnessing the racism and discrimination these maids face, Skeeter decides to write a book about their experiences and to frame it as a fictional novel. Skeeter persuades Aibileen to share her stories, who agrees in part to honor her dead son, who loved writing.

Eventually Minny and other maids join in the project. The women know that they are in danger of retaliation from the townspeople, who resent the maids’ revealing such sensitive information. But the women feel that their collaboration is worth the risk, because it will help ensure that their voices are heard and possibly make things better for future generations. As the women spend hours together, sharing innumerable tales of pain and suffering, they begin forming tentative bonds. Over time, this solidifies into firm friendships, founded on their long talks and the sharing of their most profound secret of all: they authored the book together.

The Help reminds us of the importance of taking a stand against prejudice. Equally valuable, it shows the role of interpersonal communication in creating relationships. When people disclose their innermost thoughts to one another, they forge a strong emotional bond.