Consider the intent of the message carefully to help you determine whether you should respond. Is the sender intentionally trying to provoke you? Did the sender just get carried away with emotion? Is the sender aware of the tone of the message?

If you choose to respond, create a draft message first, save it, and then revisit it in a few hours. Do not send the message yet.

Later, check your response. Is it informative, honest, relevant, and clear?

Did you avoid “you” language and use “I” and “we” language where appropriate to minimize defensiveness and bridge your differences?

Make sure your message is respectful and polite, avoiding any hint of personal attack or retaliation.

Only once you are sure the message fits these requirements should you send it.