Your “self” isn’t just one thing but many: who you think you are as a person; what your values, attitudes, and beliefs are; and how you feel about your self-worth. Because all of these factors influence how you communicate, the first step to improving your communication is to understand your self.

Who are you? You may answer this question by describing your personality—funny, friendly, or intense—or perhaps by explaining what you do: musician, athlete, or techie. You may even identify the various roles you play: “I’m Grace’s daughter,” “I’m a nursing student,” or “I’m the fry cook at Randy’s Grill.” Serena Williams sees herself as “tennis player.” As she described in a 2015 Harper’s Bazaar interview, “Some people are born to do certain things, and I think I was born to do tennis.” But who you are—your self—isn’t a single thing that can be captured in a simple statement. Instead, the self is an evolving blend of three components: self-awareness, self-concept, and self-esteem. Your self shapes how you communicate, whether online or off, with friends or in groups, and even before audiences.