Another valuable nonverbal communication skill is correctly interpreting the meaning and intent behind others’ nonverbal communication—in other words, making accurate nonverbal attributions. To do this, carefully consider the context as well as factors that may be influencing the other person’s behaviors. Always keep in mind the most important rule of attributional accuracy: People’s behavior rarely, if ever, stems from just one simple cause. For example, many people believe that crossed arms indicate a closed, defensive person. This attribution is touted as truth on TV talk shows and in self-help and advice blogs. But for many people, crossed arms is a relaxed posture. For others, this behavior could simply mean that they’re cold. Similarly, if you’re conducting a performance evaluation with an employee who makes little eye contact with you, does that mean he’s lying? Not necessarily. It could be a culturally learned behavior indicating deference or respect for authority.

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Rather than trying to attribute specific meanings to isolated behaviors, consider the cultures and genders of the people involved as well as the communication context. If you’re confused about someone’s behavior, or if it’s important to make accurate attributions about another person’s nonverbal communication, practice perception-checking. As Chapter 2 explains, figuring out the meaning behind someone else’s nonverbal communication can be as simple as asking the person about it. For example, if your roommate comes home and goes straight to her room without greeting you—an unusual behavior for her—you could later ask her, “I was confused by your quietness this afternoon; are you OK?” Rather than assuming she was mad at you about something, you can share your observation of her nonverbal behavior with her, and ask her to clarify what the behavior meant.