8: Managing Conflict

Cultural Differences

A final consideration in competently managing your conflicts involves cultural differences. People from individualistic and collectivistic cultures perceive and approach conflicts in radically different ways. Specifically, people raised in collectivistic cultures often view direct discussion of the causes behind a conflict as personal attacks and see such discussion as disruptive to the “harmony” of encounters (Kagawa & McCornack, 2004). Consequently, they tend to approach conflict through avoidance or accommodation. In contrast, many people raised in individualistic cultures feel more comfortable openly discussing disputes and don’t necessarily perceive such arguments as personal affronts (Ting-Toomey, 1997). As a result, they often compete or collaborate.

Consider how these differences might play out in a culturally diverse work group. When a disagreement erupts, the individualists in the group would be inclined to say something like, “There’s a problem here,” and perhaps even assign blame or express dismay (“I can’t believe you don’t agree”). The collectivists would be mortified by such behavior, perceiving it as blunt and discourteous and avoiding further discussion of the issues. When individualists suggest or demand specific solutions, the collectivists would likely give in to those solutions—just to restore harmony. The individualists might then conclude that the conflict has been resolved, even though it hasn’t.

Given these differences, how can you manage conflict competently across cultures? If you’re an individualist embroiled in a dispute with people from collectivistic cultures, consider these suggestions (Gudykunst & Kim, 2003):

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Working on group projects can be difficult—balancing personalities, workload, time constraints, and leadership responsibilities. Having to manage conflicts as well makes the experience even more complicated. In such situations, remember to consider any cultural differences affecting the communication. For example, how can you help everyone feel comfortable while being respectful of differing opinions?

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Maintain the face of everyone involved. Avoid humiliating or embarrassing collectivists, especially in public.
Use indirect verbal messages more than you usually do. For example, sprinkle your comments with “maybe” and “possibly,” and avoid blunt responses, such as an outright “no.”
Recognize that collectivists may prefer to have a third person mediate the conflict. Mediators allow those in conflict to manage their disagreement without direct confrontation. This lack of confrontation helps maintain harmony in the group or relationship, which is especially important to collectivists.

If you’re a collectivist in contention with someone from an individualistic culture, the following tips may help:

Manage conflicts when they arise, even if you’d much rather avoid them.
Use an assertive style, and be more direct than you usually are. For example, use “I” messages, and directly state your opinions and feelings.
Recognize that individualists often separate conflicts from people. Just because you’re in conflict doesn’t mean that the situation is personal.