1. Your Dilemma
Your extended family is having a reunion dinner. You’re excited to reconnect with them, especially your cousin Matias. He’s a fascinating person with diverse interests and hobbies, and you’ve always loved talking with him. At the same time, these gatherings have been tough for him over the years, as people (especially his dad) often pick on him. Matias doesn’t dress, talk, or behave in ways that men in your culture traditionally do. Some members of your family have not been supportive of him, as your family is very traditional—especially with regard to gender roles.
Everyone is crowded around the table, talking, laughing, and eating. Matias arrives late but sees you, smiles, and sits next to you. Before long, however, Matias’s father starts in on him: “Matias, you look like a girl. When are you going to cut that ridiculous hair?” Everyone at the table laughs, but Matias is obviously hurt.
As the laughter fades and the conversations continue, Matias leans over to you and says, “Sorry about my dad. By the way, I’m not going by Matias anymore—my friends call me Amaris now, because I think it fits me better.” But his dad overhears him. “Amaris? Come on, Matias, I’m worried about you. You gotta stop this whole ‘pretending to be a girl’ thing. You’re a man, and it’s time you start acting like one!” Matias is silent. Then his dad looks at you. “Maybe Matias will listen to you. What do you think?”
2. The Research
In the most comprehensive gender research review ever conducted, Professor Janet Shibley Hyde and her colleagues analyzed data from neuroscience, endocrinology, and social and developmental psychology (Shibley Hyde et al., 2018). They found that the vast majority of human brains are not binary “male” or “female,” but instead include a “mosaic” of features associated with both sexes. They also discovered that hormone differences between the sexes have been overstated and that hormone levels vary depending on each individual person and on the environment.
Moreover, their study casts doubt on long-presumed psychological differences between men and women. For example, across 242 studies representing over a million women and men, these researchers found no gender difference in math ability. And the researchers found that the vast majority of people expressed interest in combinations of traditionally masculine and feminine activities. They concluded that “the multidimensional, complex, interactive, and dynamic nature of gender/sex cannot be captured by only two categories.”
3. Your Opportunity
How will you respond to your uncle? Before you act, consider the facts of the situation and think about what the research tells you about sex and gender. Also reflect on what you have learned about gender identity, gender stereotypes, and power distance.