Overcoming Schizophrenia
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BRANDON STAGLIN: Freshman year in college. I had gone back to my parents' home after finishing classes in the summer. I was trying to sleep one night. I had this vision of Alice in Wonderland sitting in this eerie place called Tulgee Wood, dark forest at night.
I heard this voice in my head say, my heart goes out to her. But then this other part of me is like, how can I let my heart go out to a fictional character? Like, how crazy is that? That's kind of how it began.
I certainly didn't choose to become psychotic. I was just going down the rabbit hole, so to speak. Vanishing into a world that is strange, and bizarre, and it's confusing, and bewildering, and terrifying. The right half of my awareness kind of snapped and wasn't—I couldn't detect it anymore. And all the emotions that I normally would feel, I couldn't recognize them.
What I did is I wandered around the community for the next few days. And then trying to find that part of me that I lost. As I walked down the street, there might be these little demons that might appear and taught me. I was totally scared. Like, is my world coming to an end?
GAREN STAGLIN: We got a call while we were in Paris. Brandon was in a psychiatric hospital. We scrambled. Got on a plane. Got back. Went immediately to the hospital and he was in a tragic state.
SHARI STAGLIN: There's nothing a parent wants to see less than their child extremely ill.
BRANDON STAGLIN: Later on, I also had more psychotic symptoms. The devil was out to get my soul. And there was a cosmic struggle happening to get my soul either to heaven or to hell, ultimately. So I had this inflated sense of cosmic importance for myself.
The other scary time was I got up and I went into the bathroom. Turned the light. Looked in the mirror and my tongue shot out of my mouth and grabbed the left half of my face and pulled it off. And there was all the black corruption underneath.
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The word "schizophrenia" etymologically means "split mind." But it just means that parts of the mind aren't talking to each other properly. If these three parts of the brain don't talk to each other properly, then you may confuse a perception with something you're imagining. It's not a multiple personality disorder, as many people think. It's essentially a circuit disorder.
One fear that I had back then was that my life would be essentially over, that I would live the rest of my life institutionalized, not part of society. Not able to pursue my goals. Part of me wanted to not go on anymore. I went outside in my parents' home, lay down on their front lawn in the twilight, and thought, I'm just going to close my eyes and not open them again, ever.
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Accepting that I had a brain disorder was a long process. It took me about 20 years to fully accept it. When I finally accepted that I had a brain disorder that wouldn't go away, you know, it was liberating.
I take four different medications. So I don't experience hallucinations or delusions anymore. Actually, anti-psychotic medications are very effective at stopping psychosis. Maintaining physical health helps my mental health. Studies have shown that physical exercise, aerobic exercise can help your brain stay younger longer. Who wouldn't want that?
GAREN STAGLIN: As Brandon was getting better, we had two choices: and that we could run away from the problem, which is not talk about it. Or run towards the problem and basically make it very visible.
SHARI STAGLIN: It began what we now call the International Mental Health Research Organization, IMHRO.
BRANDON STAGLIN: My title at IMHRO is Marketing Communications Director. . I communicate with the public about the research that IMHRO funds.
GAREN STAGLIN: The mission of IMHRO is to accelerate the research to find causes and cures for all brain disorders.
BRANDON STAGLIN: Finding a cure for schizophrenia is within the realm of possibility. It could happen perhaps within our lifetimes. I've always want to help humanity in some way. And this is the best way that I—based on my own experience in my life, and who I've become that I'm able to do it.
SHANNON STAGLIN: He's such a beacon of hope for people, because he does live a very happy, fulfilled, and balanced life. And not everybody knows that that's possible with something that can be as debilitating as schizophrenia.
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BRANDON STAGLIN: I'd like to welcome you all to the Scientific Symposium on the 20th anniversary—going public with my illness made me feel like I didn't have to hide anymore. And I got gradually more and more confident speaking about it. And eventually, I was confident speaking about it that I'd kind of just tell people that I just met.
As a culture, we need to talk more about mental health issues. The more it's accepted that mental illness is just something that is a disease—a biological disease. And it's not your fault—the more people will feel comfortable going in and getting treatment.
With good treatment, people with mental illness can resume a productive life and be a productive part of the community. Thankfulness is a hugely beneficial part of my mental health and well-being. When I'm in a quiet moment or when I'm sitting somewhere, I just thank God for the great things in my life. For my wife, my dog, my family, the job that I love. And I feel a lot better when I do that.
If I could go back in time in relive my life without schizophrenia in it, I would not. I am who I am. I don't want to change it You know, I love my life.
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