“I think we’re still in a muddle with our language, because once you get words and a spoken language it gets harder to communicate” (Ewalt, 2005, para.1). The famous primatologist Jane Goodall made this point when explaining why chimpanzees resolve disputes much faster than humans. They strike out at each other and then offer each other reassuring pats or embraces, and voilà, argument over. Not so with people: words can be hard to forget.

As you’ve probably experienced, words can lead to confusion, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and anger when we blurt things out before considering their effects carefully (Miller & Roloff, 2007). We sometimes speak too vaguely and fail to consider the timing of our words. We sometimes use labels in ways others don’t appreciate, reveal bias through our words, or use offensive, coarse language. And when we put such hastily chosen words in e-mails or post them on Twitter or Facebook, they become “permanent,” and we may have great difficulty taking back what we have said (Riordan & Kreuz, 2010).