As with the relational context, different situations (being at a job interview, in a court of law, or at your uncle Fred’s sixtieth birthday party) call for different speech repertoires. Sometimes situational context determines the language you speak (English, Spanish, Japanese). For instance, you might speak English in the classroom or on the job but use another language at home because it creates a special bond between family members (Bourhis, 1985; Gudykunst, 2004).

Language can also reflect how comfortable we are in a given situation. For example, we use high language—a more formal, polite, or “mainstream” language—in business contexts, in the classroom, and in formal social gatherings (as when trying to impress the parents of our new romantic interest). We use the more informal, easygoing low language (often involving slang) when we’re in more comfortable environments—such as when watching a football game at a sports bar or enjoying movie night in a basement rec room.

Moreover, our sex and gender can interact with our situation to affect our language use. For example, women and men adapt their language use to same-sex versus mixed-sex situations. When women speak with other women, they tend to discuss relationships and use words that are more affection oriented (concerned with feelings, values, and attitudes). Men chatting with other men use more instrumentally oriented language (concerned with doing things and accomplishing tasks) (Reis, 1998). Socially constructed gender also comes into play in workplace situations. Occupations that have been traditionally defined as “masculine” or “feminine” often develop a job culture and language that follow suit. Male nursery-school teachers (in a job traditionally considered “feminine”) and fathers doing primary child care may use feminine language at work; female police officers (in a job traditionally considered “masculine”) may adopt more masculine language while on patrol (Winter & Pauwels, 2006).

But as we’ve learned, competent communicators use the most effective and appropriate ways of interacting in a given situation. That may mean putting aside gendered speech “appropriate” for our sex. For instance, a successful male manager uses language that reflects liking and respect when building relationships in the workplace, and a successful female manager uses direct language to clarify instructions for completing an important task (Bates, 1988).