Table 7.3 Strategies for Managing Stable Relationships
Strategy Examples
Remember what made you interested in the relationship in the first place.
  • Share inside jokes.
  • Visit favorite places (for instance, a coffeehouse where you used to meet).
Spend quality time together.
  • Share your day-to-day activities.
  • Explore new hobbies and interests.
  • Take part in activities like going to the movies or to sporting events.
Be understanding.
  • Empathize with your partner’s concerns, dreams, fears, and so on.
  • Avoid unnecessary judgments.
  • Try to see conflict-causing situations from your partner’s point of view.
Express affection.
  • Proclaim how important your partner is (“You’re a great friend” or “I love you”).
  • Do something nice or unexpected for your partner without being asked.
Have realistic expectations.
  • Don’t compare your relationship to others.
  • Accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses.
Work on intimacy.
  • Maintain a trusting, open environment where self-disclosure is possible.
  • Offer supportive, positive messages, particularly during stressful times.
  • Reveal your commitment by showing and sharing that you are invested in the relationship.

Sources: Dindi & Timmerman (2003); Gilbertson, Dindi, & Allen (1998); Goffman (1971); Harvey, Weber, & Orbuch (1990); Stafford (2003); Vangelisti & Banski (1993).