Technology: Managing the Self and Perceptions

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If you’re wondering how your friend Ned is doing, all you need to do is check out his Facebook profile—right? There you see photographs of his recent visit with his longtime girlfriend’s family in Texas. You read funny status updates about his apartment hunt. And you see that others wrote on his wall to congratulate him on his recent promotion. Life is going well for Ned, so you send him a private message to let him know that you’re glad for him. Would you be surprised if Ned responded to share that he is considering a breakup with his girlfriend, that he hates his job, and that he can’t afford a decent apartment because his student loans are crushing him? How is this possible (you wonder) when Ned’s profile seems to indicate that his life is fulfilling and happy?

This is possible because in blogs, in chat rooms, and on dating and social-networking sites we can control the presentation of self far more carefully than in face-to-face encounters. When you manage the self online, you can much more easily choose what to reveal and what to conceal. You can decide whether you will reveal your gender, ethnicity, and race, as well as your religious or political preferences. What’s more, you can edit, revise, and organize the information you disclose before the message goes out. In this way, you can present an image that is smart, charming, and eloquent, even if you tend to be nervous or timid in face-to-face communication. In Ned’s case, he chose to present a self that is carefree and happy—even though his current situation is quite the opposite. Among adolescents in particular, the Internet presents an appealing opportunity to experiment with identity. Sherry Turkle, a technology researcher, notes that the online environment offers young people a virtual “identity workshop” where they can try on different identities with little risk. “Things get too hot, you log off,” Turkle notes, “while in time and space, you have consequences” (quoted in Wallis, 2006).

On the other hand, how you present yourself online may not be the only factor in how you come across to others. Statements made by your friends on Facebook, for example, can significantly affect people’s impressions of you. A study by Walther, Van Der Heide, Kim, Westerman, and Tong (2008) found that when people post on their friend’s wall positive statements about their friend’s behavior, their friend’s credibility and “social attractiveness” increase, compared to negative statements (for example, about excessive drunkenness or sexual behavior). Even the number and type of friends you have on Facebook can have an influence—if you have “too few” or “too many” friends, your reputation could suffer (Tong, Van Der Heide, Langwell, & Walther, 2008). The attractiveness of your friends can also affect perceptions of your own attractiveness (Walther, Van Der Heide, Kim, Westerman, & Tong, 2008).