comm_and_you

Family

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For some people, the term family refers to immediate relatives who live in the same household. For others, it means a more extended family that includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Still others use the term to describe groups of people whom they are intimately connected and committed to, even without blood or civil ties, like some fraternal organizations or religious communities. But for our purposes, a family is a small social group bound by ties of blood, civil contract (such as marriage, civil union, or adoption), and a commitment to care for and be responsible for one another, usually in a shared household.

Little People, Big World depicts struggles and triumphs that any family can relate to while also representing dwarfism in mainstream media.

Our first and most basic relationships are with family. From them, we learn communication skills and develop characteristics that affect how we interact with other people throughout our lives. TLC’s reality series Little People, Big World revolves around the daily family life of the Roloffs, led by parents Matt and Amy, who are both dwarfs (little people), and their four children. What’s truly endearing about the show are the relationships and communication between the family members as they face living in a world where everything is built for taller people. How does Zach, who is also little, relate to his average-height twin, who is nearly two feet taller than he is? How do idealistic dreamer Matt and logical planner Amy communicate about important family decisions? Through all the mishaps around their Oregon farm, the Roloffs deal with one another with openness, affection, discipline, and humor—qualities that reveal strong family communication (see Table 7.1). Moreover, Matt and Amy teach their children the beliefs, values, and communication skills they need to face life’s challenges, to feel loved and secure, and to achieve success both professionally and personally (Ducharme, Doyle, & Markiewicz, 2002).These communications are essential for enriching family life and positively developing younger family members (Canary & Dainton, 2003; Guerrero, Andersen, & Afifi, 2007; Mansson, Myers, & Turner, 2010).

Table 7.1 Family Communication Qualities
Communication Standard	Examples
Openness	Being able to talk when something is wrong Talking about sensitive issues like sex or drugs Sharing feelings
Structural stability	Having at least one person in the family whom everyone listens to and obeys Dealing with emotional issues only when everyone can handle them
Affection	Being loving and affectionate with one another Saying affectionate things like “I love you”
Emotional and instrumental support	Helping each other Being able to count on each other Knowing support will be there
Mind reading	Knowing what’s going on with each other without asking Understanding how the other feels without discussing it
Politeness	Never being rude or inconsiderate Not talking back
Discipline	Having clear rules for family members Knowing that there are consequences for breaking family rules
Humor or sarcasm	Being able to tease other family members Poking fun at each other
Regular routine interaction	Meeting regularly to discuss things Setting aside time to communicate
Avoidance	Avoiding topics that are too personal Agreeing to skirt issues that are painful

Dr. John Caughlin at the University of Illinois conducted three studies of 1,023 undergraduate students and found that people generally agree that these ten qualities constitute “excellent family communication” (2003).