HOW PEOPLE DEAL WITH STRESS

KEY THEME

Coping refers to the ways in which we try to change circumstances, or our interpretation of circumstances, to make them less threatening.

KEY QUESTIONS

Think about some of the stressful periods that have occurred in your life. What kinds of strategies did you use to deal with those distressing events? Which strategies seemed to work best? Did any of the strategies end up working against your ability to reduce the stressor? If you had to deal with the same events again today, would you do anything differently?

For example, imagine that you discovered that you weren’t allowed to register for classes because the financial aid office had lost your paperwork. How would you react? What would you do?

The strategies that you use to deal with distressing events are examples of coping. Coping refers to the ways in which we try to change circumstances, or our interpretation of circumstances, to make them more favorable and less threatening (Folkman, 2009).

When coping is effective, we adapt to the situation and stress is reduced. Unfortunately, coping efforts do not always help us adapt. Maladaptive coping can involve thoughts and behaviors that intensify or prolong distress, or that produce self-defeating outcomes (Thompson & others, 2010). The rejected lover who continually dwells on his former companion, passing up opportunities to form new relationships and letting his studies slide, is demonstrating maladaptive coping. Maladaptive coping can also include maladaptive behaviors. People of all ages sometimes engage in unhealthy coping behaviors. But one survey found that millenials are significantly more likely than those of other generations to cope by eating more or by becoming a couch potato—for example, playing video games or spending too much time online (APA, 2013).

Adaptive coping responses serve many functions (Folkman, 2009; Folkman & Moskowitz, 2007). Most important, adaptive coping involves realistically evaluating the situation and determining what can be done to minimize the impact of the stressor. But adaptive coping also involves dealing with the emotional aspects of the situation. In other words, adaptive coping often includes developing emotional tolerance for negative life events, maintaining self-esteem, and keeping emotions in balance. Finally, adaptive coping efforts are directed toward preserving important relationships.

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Traditionally, coping has been broken down into two major categories: problem-focused and emotion-focused (Folkman & Moskowitz, 2004). As you’ll see in the next sections, each type of coping serves a different purpose. However, people are flexible in the coping styles they adopt, often relying on different coping strategies for different stressors (Bonanno & Burton, 2013; Kammeyer-Mueller & others, 2009).

CHANGING THE STRESSOR

Problem-focused coping is aimed at managing or changing a threatening or harmful stressor. Problem-focused coping strategies tend to be most effective when you can exercise some control over the stressful situation or circumstances (Kammeyer-Mueller & others, 2009; Park & others, 2004).

Sandy’s friend Wyncia, whose own house narrowly escaped the flames, demonstrated the value of problem-focused coping. A member of the volunteer fire department, she received the call to mobilize just minutes after she saw the thick cloud of black smoke and realized that the fire was nearby. Grabbing her emergency kit, Wyncia raced to the fire station, leaving her husband to pack up their dog and whatever else he could hurriedly stuff into their car as the flames drew near.

Wyncia said, “When you experience that gut ‘fight-or-flight reaction,’ and there’s no one to fight, and nowhere to run, you just melt down. But when you’re with the fire department, instead of melting down, you get up and do your job. Joining the fire department as a volunteer was the best thing I could have done. Instead of just sitting at the bottom of the hill and waiting for news, and looking at the horrible smoke and wondering whether my house was still there, I was actually involved with the people who were working on the problem.”

Planful problem solving involves efforts to rationally analyze the situation, identify potential solutions, and then implement them. In effect, you take the attitude that the stressor represents a problem to be solved. Once you assume that mental stance, you follow the basic steps of problem solving (see Chapter 7).

When people tackle a problem head on, they are engaging in confrontive coping. Ideally, confrontive coping is direct and assertive but not hostile or angry. When it is hostile or aggressive, confrontive coping may well generate negative emotions in the people being confronted, damaging future relations with them (Folkman & Lazarus, 1991). However, if you recall our earlier discussion of hostility, then you won’t be surprised to find that hostile individuals often engage in confrontive coping (Vandervoort, 2006).

CHANGING YOUR REACTION TO THE STRESSOR

When the stressor is one over which we can exert little or no control, we often focus on the dimension of the situation that we can control—the emotional impact of the stressor on us. When people think that nothing can be done to alter a situation, they tend to rely on emotion-focused coping. They direct their efforts toward relieving or regulating the emotional impact of the stressful situation (Scott & others, 2010). Although emotion-focused coping doesn’t change the problem, it can help you feel better about it.

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When you shift your attention away from the stressor and toward other activities, you’re engaging in the emotion-focused coping strategy called escape–avoidance. As the name implies, the basic goal is to escape or avoid the stressor and neutralize distressing emotions. Excessive sleeping and the use of drugs and alcohol are maladaptive forms of escape–avoidance, as are escaping into fantasy or wishful thinking. More constructive escape–avoidance strategies include exercising or immersing yourself in your studies, hobbies, or work.

Because you are focusing your attention on something other than the stressor, escape–avoidance tactics provide emotional relief in the short run. Thus, avoidance strategies can be helpful when you are facing a stressor that is brief and has limited consequences. But avoidance strategies such as wishful thinking tend to be counter-productive when the stressor is a severe or long-lasting one, like a serious or chronic disease (Wolf & Mori, 2009).

In the long run, escape–avoidance tactics are associated with poor adjustment and feelings of depression and anxiety (Murberg & Bru, 2005; Woodhead & others, 2013). That’s not surprising if you think about it. After all, the problem is still there. And if the problem is one that needs to be dealt with promptly, such as academic problems, the delays caused by escape–avoidance strategies can make the stressful situation worse.

Seeking social support is the coping strategy that involves turning to friends, relatives, or other people for emotional, tangible, or informational support. As we discussed earlier in the chapter, having a strong network of social support can help buffer the impact of stressors (Uchino, 2009). Confiding in a trusted friend gives you an opportunity to vent your emotions and better understand the stressful situation.

When you acknowledge the stressor but attempt to minimize or eliminate its emotional impact, you’re engaging in the coping strategy called distancing. Having an attitude of joy and lightheartedness in daily life, and finding the humor in life’s absurdities or ironies, is one form of distancing (Kuhn & others, 2010; McGraw & others, 2013). Sometimes people emotionally distance themselves from a stressor by discussing it in a detached, depersonalized, or intellectual way.

For example, when Andi planned her first trip up to her burned-out house to see what could be salvaged, she joked that we would be like pirates looking for booty in the wreckage. The admittedly silly joke caught on. Along with the pile of donated shovels, rakes, screens, face masks and heavy work gloves, one friend brought a handmade pirate flag and another a stuffed parrot! When we got to Andi’s home-site, she planted the flag on top of the only item of furniture that was still standing—her charred exercise bicycle.

In certain high-stress occupations, distancing can help workers cope with painful human problems. Clinical psychologists, social workers, rescue workers, police officers, and medical personnel often use distancing to some degree to help them deal with distressing situations without falling apart emotionally themselves.

In contrast to distancing, denial is a refusal to acknowledge that the problem even exists. Like escape–avoidance strategies, denial can compound problems in situations that require immediate attention.

Perhaps the most constructive emotion-focused coping strategy is positive reappraisal. When we use positive reappraisal, we try not only to minimize the negative emotional aspects of the situation but also to create positive meaning by focusing on personal growth (Folkman, 2009). Even in the midst of deeply disturbing situations, positive reappraisal can help people experience positive emotions and minimize the potential for negative aftereffects (Nowlan & others, 2015; Weiss & Berger, 2010).

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For example, as Andi said, “Your life is terrible and wonderful at the same time. It’s terrible because you’ve lost everything you own. But it’s wonderful because you see the incredible kindness of strangers.”

Some people turn to their religious or spiritual beliefs to help them cope with stress. Positive religious coping includes seeking comfort or reassurance in prayer or from a religious community, or believing that your personal experience is spiritually meaningful. Positive religious coping is generally associated with lower levels of stress and anxiety, improved mental and physical health, and enhanced well-being (Ano & Vasconcelles, 2005).

On the other hand, religious beliefs can also lead to a less positive outcome. Individuals who respond with negative religious coping, in which they become angry, question their religious beliefs, or believe that they are being punished, tend to experience increased levels of distress, poorer health, and decreased well-being (Ano & Vasconcelles, 2005; Smith & others, 2005).

For many people, religious coping offers a sense of control or certainty during stressful events or circumstances (Hogg & others, 2010; Kay & others, 2010). For example, some people find strength in the notion that adversity is a test of their religious faith or that they have been given a particular challenge in order to fulfill a higher moral purpose. For some people, religious or spiritual beliefs can increase resilience, optimism, and personal growth during times of stress and adversity (Pargament & Cummings, 2010).

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Finally, it’s important to note that there is no single “best” coping strategy. In general, the most effective coping is flexible, meaning that we fine-tune our coping strategies to meet the demands of a particular stressor (Carver, 2011; Cheng, 2009). And, people often use multiple coping strategies, combining problem-focused and emotion-focused forms of coping. In the initial stages of a stressful experience, we may rely on emotion-focused strategies to help us step back emotionally from a problem. Once we’ve regained our equilibrium, we may use problem-focused coping strategies to identify potential solutions.

Although it’s virtually inevitable that you’ll encounter stressful circumstances, there are coping strategies that can help you minimize their health effects. We suggest several techniques in the Psych for Your Life section at the end of the chapter.

Culture can influence the choice of coping strategies (Chun & others, 2006). Americans and other members of individualistic cultures tend to emphasize personal autonomy and personal responsibility in dealing with problems. Thus, they are less likely to seek social support in stressful situations than are members of collectivistic cultures, such as Asian cultures (Wong & Wong, 2006). Members of collectivistic cultures tend to be more oriented toward their social group, family, or community and toward seeking help with their problems (Kuo, 2013).

Individualists also tend to emphasize the importance and value of exerting control over their circumstances, especially circumstances that are threatening or stressful (O’Connor & Shimizu, 2002). Thus, they favor problem-focused strategies, such as confrontive coping and planful problem solving. These strategies involve directly changing the situation to achieve a better fit with their wishes or goals (Wong & Wong, 2006).

In collectivistic cultures, however, a greater emphasis is placed on controlling your personal reactions to a stressful situation rather than trying to control the situation itself (Zhou & others, 2012). According to some researchers, people in China, Japan, and other Asian cultures are more likely to rely on emotional coping strategies than people in individualistic cultures. Coping strategies that are particularly valued in collectivistic cultures include emotional self-control, gracefully accepting one’s fate and making the best of a bad situation, and maintaining harmonious relationships with family members (Heppner, 2008; Yeh & others, 2006). This emotion-focused coping style emphasizes gaining control over inner feelings by accepting and accommodating yourself to existing realities (O’Connor & Shimizu, 2002).

For example, the Japanese emphasize accepting difficult situations with maturity, serenity, and flexibility (Gross, 2007). Common sayings in Japan are “The true tolerance is to tolerate the intolerable” and “Flexibility can control rigidity.” Along with controlling inner feelings, many Asian cultures also stress the goal of controlling the outward expression of emotions, however distressing the situation (Park, 2010).

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These cultural differences in coping underscore the point that there is no formula for effective coping in all situations. That we use multiple coping strategies throughout almost every stressful situation reflects our efforts to identify what will work best at a given moment in time. To the extent that any coping strategy helps us identify realistic alternatives, manage our emotions, and maintain important relationships, it is adaptive and effective.