Introduction with Student Profile

3Emotional Intelligence

IN THIS CHAPTER YOU WILL EXPLORE

47

What emotional intelligence is

How to assess your emotional intelligence

The different categories of emotional intelligence

Specific skills that are connected to emotional intelligence

How emotions affect success

What you can do to improve your emotional competencies

Going to college is not only about enjoying success and accomplishments but also about persevering when things get difficult or go wrong.

Gustavo Mejia, 20

Business Administration major

South Texas College

Growing up in Turmero, Venezuela, Gus Mejia’s family always encouraged him to attend college. “I see college as the path to the future,” he says, “one that will help me build a better life for my family.” Gus began college at Sinclair Community College in Dayton, Ohio, where he took classes full-time while working two days a week at his uncle’s restaurant. He quickly learned a few things that helped him succeed. “As an international student, I left important parts of my life behind when I made the decision to go to college, such as family and my country. Being alone for almost a year taught me how important it is to have a positive attitude and an optimistic spirit.”

48

This realization didn’t come without hard work and practice. One of the most important things Gus had to learn during his first year of college was how to deal with the stress of managing college, work, and living in a new environment, and Gus figured out that having a good sense of his own emotional intelligence helped. Being aware of how these stresses affected him emotionally helped him better understand how to deal with situations and kept him from reacting negatively in stressful situations. Emotional intelligence has also played a big role in Gus’s favorite class (so far), organizational behavior, where he had to learn how to work with other students, no matter what their customs and beliefs. “I liked this class not only because it related directly to my major,” he says, “but also because it allows me to communicate with others. Being able to work efficiently with different people from different backgrounds was very valuable.”

image
Gustavo Mejia

Gus decided to begin the transfer process last year. Transferring to South Texas College represented a new beginning for him, one that came with its own fair share of challenges that he had to face with a clear head. Some of his classes—such as English literature as well as some courses on Microsoft Excel and PowerPoint—didn’t transfer because they didn’t fit the business program curriculum at his new college. Gus had to find out all the requirements of transferring, including admission tests, and be sure to meet them to make the transition as smooth as possible. His one piece of advice for other first-year students: perseverance. “Going to college is not only about enjoying success and accomplishments but also about persevering when things get difficult or go wrong,” he says.


The ability to understand oneself and others and get along with people is vital for success in school, work, and life. Another element of success is the ability to manage time well and get things done. Also, it’s important to anticipate potential problems before they occur. Gus’s problems with transfer are not uncommon, but he was able to deal with them without letting them become a barrier to his success. Why do some individuals struggle to handle stressful situations while others, like Gus, seem to handle them with ease? Although we tend to think of these abilities as inborn personality traits that can’t be changed, social skills and stress-management skills really can be learned and improved.

image

Particularly in the first year of college, many students who are intellectually capable of succeeding have difficulty establishing positive relationships with others, dealing with pressure, or making wise decisions. Other students exude optimism and happiness and seem to adapt to their new environment without any trouble. Being optimistic doesn’t mean that you ignore your problems or pretend they will go away, but optimistic people believe in their own abilities to address problems successfully as they arise. The difference in the way students deal with life’s challenges lies not in academic talent but in emotional intelligence (EI), or the ability to recognize and manage moods, feelings, and attitudes. A growing body of evidence shows a clear connection between students’ EI and whether or not they stay in college.

49

As you read this chapter, you will develop an understanding of EI, and you will learn how to use it to become a more successful student and person. You will begin to look at yourself and others through an EI lens, observe the behaviors that help people do well, get to know yourself better, and take the time to examine why you are feeling the way you do before you act. Then, as you read each subsequent chapter in this book, try to apply what you have learned about EI and think about how it might relate to the behaviors of successful college students. You can’t always control the challenges and frustrations of life, but with practice you can control how you respond to them.