gardner11e

Handling Stress

Suppose you know that you don’t handle stress well. When things get tough—too many things are due at once, your roommate leaves clothes and leftover food all over the place, and your significant other seems a bit distant—you begin to fall apart. You can use the following model as a way to handle stress.

EI competency: Stress tolerance

Specific goal: To get control of the things that are causing stress this week

Plan: Identify each stressor and select a strategy for addressing it

YOUR TURN

Write and Reflect

Using this example as a model, select an EI competency that you would like to improve, choose a specific goal, and formulate a plan for accomplishing it. What kinds of results do you hope to achieve? How will improving your EI in this area help you become a happier, more confident person? Reflect on these questions in a journal entry.

List everything that needs to be done this week. Allot time for each item on the list and stick to a schedule. Reassess the schedule many times during the week.
Ask yourself whether your roommate is bothering you only because you are stressed. Do you do some of the same things your roommate does? Ask yourself what the next step should be. Should you talk to your roommate? Look for another place to study?
Ask yourself whether your significant other is acting differently for any reason. Is he or she under stress? Are you overreacting because you feel insecure in the relationship? After answering these questions, decide what the next step will be. Should you talk to your significant other and share your feelings with him or her? Reassess the situation in another week when things calm down?
Identify what reduces stress for you and still allows you to stay on target to get things done. Exercising? Working in small chunks with rewards when you finish something? Playing a musical instrument?

Success indicator: You are feeling less stressed, and you have accomplished many of the things on your list. You are working out three times a week. Your significant other seems just fine, and your place is still a mess but it’s not bothering you. You leave your room and decide to study in the library.

It’s important not to try to improve everything at once. Instead, identify specific EI competencies that you can define, describe, and then set measurable goals for change. Don’t expect success overnight. Remember that it took you a while to develop your specific approach to life, and it will take commitment and practice to change it.