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Marriage and Parenting during College

Can marriage, parenting, or other family responsibilities coexist with being a college student? The answer, of course, is yes, although meeting everyone’s needs—your own, a significant other’s, your family’s—is not easy. If you are married, with or without children, you need to become an expert at time management. If you do have children, make sure you find out what resources your college offers to help you with child care.

Sweet Success

Whether you are single or have a spouse or partner, being a parent while being a college student is one of the most challenging situations you can face. Find other students who have children so that you have a support system—it can make all the difference. You may not believe it now, but you are functioning as an important role model for your children. They will learn from you that education is worth striving for, even in the face of many obstacles.

In a Long-Distance Relationship

Are you a first-year college student who has a romantic partner at another college or university miles away from you? Negotiating long-distance relationships while trying to do well in college can be a significant challenge. You might find yourself feeling guilty if you enjoy activities on campus when your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t around. Try not to let this relationship get in the way of your enjoyment of the whole college experience and your commitment to doing well academically. Depending on you and your partner, the relationship may become stronger, or you may decide that absence doesn’t really “make the heart grow fonder,” but instead creates problems that seem insurmountable. If you find that it’s difficult or impossible to negotiate a long-distance romance, seek some help from your counseling center before making any major decisions. Many students have been in the same situation as you.

Sometimes, going to college can create conflict within a family. Partners and children can be threatened and intimidated if you take on a new identity and a new set of responsibilities. Financial pressures are likely to put an extra strain on your relationship, so both you and your partner will have to work hard at paying attention to each other’s needs. Be sure to involve your family members in your decisions. Bring them to campus at every opportunity and let them read your papers and other assignments. Set aside time for your partner and your family just as carefully as you schedule your work and your classes. Most family difficulties can be resolved with good communication. Trust your own ability to be resilient and to maintain your motivation in the face of occasional conflict.