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COMMUNICATING IN A DIGITAL AGE

So much of our communication with others occurs through e-mail, text and photo messaging, mobile apps, and posting on social networking sites such as Facebook. Online communication enables us to connect with others, whether we’re forming new friendships or romantic relationships or maintaining established ones. Online communication also gives us a broad sense of community.

Whereas people used to gather around the proverbial water cooler to chat, new media continually offer new virtual gathering places. Given how often we use technology to communicate with others, it becomes critically important to use it properly. Here are some helpful suggestions, which are also summarized in Table 11.1.¹

Match the seriousness of your message to your communication medium. Know when to communicate online versus offline. Texting a friend to remind her of a coffee date that you’ve already set up is likely quicker and less disruptive than calling her. E-mail may be best when dealing with problematic people or trying to resolve certain types of conflicts because it allows you to take the time to think and carefully draft and revise your responses before sending them, which isn’t possible in person.
Use face-to-face interactions for in-depth, lengthy, and detailed explanations of professional or personal problems or important relationship decisions. Although online communication is common, many people still expect important news to be shared in person. Most of us would be surprised if a close friend revealed a long-awaited pregnancy through e-mail, or if a family member disclosed a serious illness through a text message.
Don’t assume that online communication is always more efficient. Issues that may cause an emotional reaction are more effectively and ethically handled in person or over the phone. So are many simple things—like deciding when to meet or where to go to lunch. Often a 1-minute phone call or a quick face-to-face exchange can save several minutes of texting.
Presume that your posts are public. You may be thinking of the laugh you’ll get from friends when you post the funny picture of you drunkenly hugging a houseplant on Facebook. But would you want family members, future in-laws, or potential employers to see the picture? Even if you have privacy settings on your personal page, what’s to stop friends from downloading your photos and posts and distributing them to others? Keep this rule in mind: Anything you’ve sent or posted online can potentially be seen by anyone.
Remember that your posts are permanent. What goes online or is shared through a mobile app lives on forever, despite some sites’ claims to the contrary. Old e-mails, photos, videos, tweets, blogs, you name it—all of these may still be accessible years later. As just one example, everything you have ever posted on Facebook is stored on the Facebook server, whether or not you delete it from your profile, and Facebook legally reserves the right to sell your content, as long as they first delete personally identifying information such as your name. Think before you post.
Practice the art of creating drafts. Get into the habit of saving text and e-mail messages as drafts, then revisiting them later and editing them for appropriateness, effectiveness, and ethics. Because online communication makes it easy to insult someone without thinking, many of us impetuously fire off messages that we later regret.
Protect yourself and your online identity, and protect yourself when online correspondence turns into face-to-face communication. Choose secure passwords for your social networking sites and for course sites where your grades might be listed. Limit the amount of personal information available on any online profile, ratchet up your security settings, and accept friend requests only from people you know. Exercise caution and common sense when meeting someone you’ve met online in person. Keep in mind that some people lie in their profiles and posts.

TABLE 11.1 Best Practices for Online Communication

Key Points to Remember	Best Practices
1. Match the gravity of your message to your communication medium.	Online is best for transmitting quick reminders, linear messages, or messages that require time and thought to craft. Offline is better for sharing personal information such as engagement announcements or news of health issues.
2. Online communication is not necessarily more efficient.	If your message needs a quick decision or answer, a phone call or a face-to-face conversation may be better. Use online communication if you want the person to have time to respond.
3. Presume that your posts are public.	If you wouldn’t want a message to be seen by the general public, don’t post it or send it online.
4. Remember that your posts are permanent.	Even after you delete something, it still exists on servers and may be accessible.
5. Practice the art of creating drafts.	Don’t succumb to the pressure to answer an e-mail immediately. Taking time to respond will result in a more competently crafted message.
6. Protect your online identity.	Choose passwords carefully and limit the personal information you put online.
7. Protect yourself when online correspondence turns into face-to-face communication.	Exercise caution and common sense when meeting any online acquaintances in person.

Source: Adapted from Steven McCornack, Reflect & Relate: An Introduction to Interpersonal Communication, 3rd ed. (Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2013), pp. 24–27.