AVOID CORRESPONDENCE CLICHéS
For more about choosing the right words and phrases, see Ch. 6, p. 140. [[[LP x-ref: For more about choosing the right words and phrases, see “Choosing the Right Words and Phrases” in Ch. 6. ]]]
Over the centuries, a group of words and phrases have come to be associated with business correspondence; one common example is as per your request. These phrases sound stilted and insincere. Don’t use them. Figure 9.1 is a list of common clichés and their plain-language equivalents. Figure 9.2 shows two versions of the same letter: one written in clichés, the other in plain language.
Figure 9.1: FIGURE 9.1 Letter Clichés and Plain-Language Equivalents
Figure 9.2: FIGURE 9.2 Sample Letters with and Without Clichés
Figure 9.2: The letter on the right avoids clichés and shows an understanding of the “you attitude.” Instead of focusing on the violation of the warranty, it presents the conclusion as good news: the snowmobile is not ruined, and it can be repaired and returned in less than a week for a small charge.