The ultimate stage of coming together is bonding , a public ritual that announces to the world that you and your partner have made a commitment to one another. Bonding is something you’ll share with very few people—perhaps only one—during your lifetime. The most obvious example of bonding is marriage.

Bonding institutionalizes your relationship. Before this stage, the ground rules for your relationship and your communication within it remain a private matter, to be negotiated between you and your partner. In the bonding stage, you import into your relationship a set of laws and customs determined by governmental authorities and perhaps religious institutions. Although these laws and customs help to solidify your relationship, they can also make your relationship feel more rigid and structured.