Pluralistic Families

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Sitting down and sharing a meal often gives families the opportunity to catch up on daily events, discuss issues large and small, make decisions, and even deal with conflicts. When your family has a meal together, what do you talk about? How does this align with what you perceive as your family communication pattern?

© Michael S. Yamashita/Corbis

Families high in conversation but low in conformity are pluralistic families . They communicate in open and unconstrained ways, discussing a broad range of topics and exploring them in depth. Pluralistic families enjoy debating the issues of the day and judge one another’s arguments on their merit rather than whether they mesh with other members’ attitudes. People in pluralistic families typically don’t try to control other family members’ beliefs or attitudes (Rueter & Koerner, 2008). Since parents don’t feel compelled to wield power over their children, children’s contributions to family discussions and decision making are treated as relevant and equally valid. For example, parents in a pluralistic family might ask for their children’s opinions regarding a job opportunity (“Should Mom accept the offer from TelCo?”) or a family vacation (“Where should we go this year?”). Pluralistic families deal directly with conflict, seeking to resolve disputes in productive, mutually beneficial ways. They may, for instance, establish “official” times (such as mealtimes or family meetings) when members can vent their concerns and work collaboratively to settle them. For this reason, pluralistic family members report the highest rates of conflict resolution of any of the four family types.