Cross-Orientation Friendships

A second type of cross-category friendship is cross-orientation: friendships between lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, or queer (LGBTQ) people and straight men or women. As within all friendships, cross-orientation friends are bonded by shared interests and activities, and provide each other with support and affection. But these friendships also provide unique rewards for the parties involved (Galupo, 2007). For straight men and women, forming a cross-orientation friendship can help correct negative stereotypes about persons of other sexual orientations and the LGBTQ community as a whole. For LGBTQ persons, having a straight friend can provide much-needed emotional and social support from outside of the LGBTQ community, helping to further insulate them from societal homophobia (Galupo, 2007).

Although cross-orientation friendships are commonplace on television and in the movies, they are less frequent in real life. Although LGBTQ persons often have as many cross-orientation friends as same-orientation, straight men and women overwhelmingly form friendships with other straight men and women (Galupo, 2009). The principal reason is homophobia, both personal and societal. By far the group that has the fewest cross-orientation friendships is straight men. In fact, the average number of cross-orientation friendships for straight men is zero: most straight men do not have a single lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered friend (Galupo, 2009). This tendency may perpetuate homophobic sentiments because these men are never exposed to LGBTQ persons who might amend their negative attitudes. If biases are keeping you from developing friendships with diverse others, see the advice in Chapter 5 on overcoming prejudice as a way to start resetting your viewpoint.