Interpersonal Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional

During interpersonal encounters, people attach meaning to nearly everything you say and do—whether you intend to send a message or not. Scholars express this as the axiom, “One cannot not communicate” (Watzlawick et al., 1967, p. 51.) For example, imagine that you greet a friend of yours, “Hey, how’s it going?” She greets you back, “Hi—good to see you!” But then, as your friend tells you about her new boyfriend, your contact lens gets displaced. You sigh loudly in frustration, and move your eyes to try and get it back in position. Your friend, seeing this, thinks you’re sighing and rolling your eyes as a message about her boyfriend, and gets angry. Whether you like it or not, interpersonal communication has occurred, even though it was unintentional. To avoid such misunderstandings, remember that most of what you say and do when interacting with others will be perceived as communication.

Self-Reflection

Consider an instance in which you didn’t intend to communicate a message but someone saw your behavior as communication. How did this person misinterpret your behavior? What were the consequences? What did you say and do to correct the individual’s misperception?

Question

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