Interpersonal communication competence means consistently communicating in ways that are appropriate (your communication follows accepted norms), effective (your communication enables you to achieve your goals), and ethical (your communication treats people fairly) (Spitzberg & Cupach, 1984; Wiemann, 1977). Acquiring knowledge of what it means to communicate competently is the first step in developing interpersonal communication competence (Spitzberg, 1997).

The second step is learning how to translate this knowledge into communication skills, repeatable, goal-directed behaviors and behavioral patterns that you routinely practice in your interpersonal encounters and relationships (Spitzberg & Cupach, 2002). Both steps require motivation to improve your communication. If you are strongly motivated to improve your interpersonal communication, you can master the knowledge and skills necessary to develop competence.