dismissive attachment: An attachment style where individuals have low anxiety but high avoidance: they view close relationships as comparatively unimportant, instead prizing self-reliance.

embarrassment: A feeling of shame, humiliation, and sadness that comes when we lose face.

face: The self we allow others to see and know; the aspects of ourselves we choose to present publicly. For instance, you dress up and speak carefully for an important social occasion, though in private you’re very casual.

fearful attachment: An attachment style in which individuals are high in both attachment anxiety and avoidance: they fear rejection and thus shun relationships, preferring to avoid the pain they believe is an inevitable part of intimacy.

interpersonal process model of intimacy: The idea that the closeness we feel toward others in our relationships is created through two things: self-disclosure and responsiveness of listeners to such disclosure.

intimacy: A feeling of closeness and “union” that exists between us and our relationship partners.

looking-glass self: Sociologist Charles Horton Cooley’s idea that we define our self-concepts through thinking about how others see us. For example, a young girl who believes others consider her poor in sports formulates an image of herself as uncoordinated, even though she is a good dancer.

mask: The public self designed to strategically veil your private self—for example, putting on a happy face when you are sad or pretending to be confident while inside you feel shy or anxious.

preoccupied attachment: An attachment style in which individuals are high in anxiety and low in avoidance; they desire closeness, but are plagued with fear of rejection.

secure attachment: An attachment style in which individuals are low in both anxiety and avoidance; they are comfortable with intimacy and seek close ties with others.

self: The evolving composite of who one is, including self-awareness, self-concept, and self-esteem.

self-awareness: The ability to view yourself as a unique person distinct from your surrounding environment and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

self-concept: Your overall idea of who you are based on the beliefs, attitudes, and values you have about yourself.

self-disclosure: Revealing private information about yourself to others.

self-discrepancy theory: The idea that your self-esteem results from comparing two mental standards: your ideal self (the characteristics you want to possess based on your desires) and your ought self (the person others wish and expect you to be).

self-esteem: The overall value, positive or negative, you assign to yourself.

self-fulfilling prophecies: Predictions about future encounters that lead us to behave in ways that ensure the interaction unfolds as we predicted.

social comparison: Observing and assigning meaning to others’ behaviors and then comparing their behavior to ours (when judging our own actions). For example, you might subtly check out how others are dressed at a party or how they scored on an exam to see if you compare favorably.

social penetration theory: Altman and Taylor’s model that you reveal information about yourself to others by peeling back or penetrating layers.

warranting value: The degree to which online information is supported by other people and outside evidence.