All cultures have norms regarding which forms of emotional expression are socially desirable and appropriate, and which are not. These are called display rules : guidelines for when, where, and how to appropriately express emotion (Ekman & Friesen, 1975).

These rules vary across cultures, however (Soto, Levenson, & Ebling, 2005). Take the two fastest-growing ethnic groups in the United States—Mexican Americans and Chinese Americans (Buriel & De Ment, 1997). In traditional Chinese culture, people prioritize emotional control and moderation; intense emotions are considered dangerous and are even thought to cause illness (Wu & Tseng, 1985). This belief even shapes communication in close relationships. Chinese American couples don’t openly express positive emotions toward each other as often as Euro-American couples do (Tsai & Levenson, 1997). Meanwhile, in traditional Mexican culture, people openly express emotion, even more so than those from Euro-American cultures (Soto et al., 2005). For people of Mexican descent, the experience, expression, and deep discussion of emotions provide some of life’s greatest rewards and satisfactions.

When families emigrate to a new society, the move often provokes tension over which display rules they should follow. People more closely oriented to their cultures of origin continue to communicate their emotions in traditional ways. Others—usually the first generation of children born in the new society—may move away from traditional forms of emotional expression (Soto et al., 2005). For example, Chinese Americans who adhere strongly to traditional Chinese culture openly display fewer negative emotions than those who are Americanized (Soto et al., 2005). Similarly, Mexican Americans with strong ties to traditional Mexican culture express intense negative emotion more openly than “Americanized” Mexican Americans.

It’s important to be aware of these differences when communicating with others. An emotional expression—such as a loud shout of intense joy—might be considered shocking and inappropriate in some cultures but perfectly normal and natural in others. At the same time, don’t presume that all people from the same culture necessarily share the same expectations. As much as possible, adjust your expression of emotion to match the style of the individuals with whom you’re interacting.