Critical to active listening is using verbal and nonverbal behaviors known as feedback to communicate attention and understanding while others are talking. Scholars distinguish between two kinds of feedback, positive and negative (Wolvin & Coakley, 1996). When you use positive feedback, like John in our earlier example, you look directly at the person speaking, smile, position your body so that you’re facing him or her, and lean forward. You may also offer back-channel cues, verbal and nonverbal behaviors such as nodding and making comments—like “Uh-huh,” “Yes,” and “That makes sense”—that signal you’ve paid attention to and understood specific comments (Duncan & Fiske, 1977). All of these behaviors combine to show speakers that you’re actively listening. In contrast, people who use negative feedback, like Sarah in our example, send a very different message to speakers. Behaviors that convey negative feedback include avoiding eye contact, turning your body away, looking bored or distracted, and not using back-channel cues.

To effectively display positive feedback during interpersonal encounters, try four simple suggestions (Barker, 1971; Daly, 1975). First, make your feedback obvious. As communication scholar John Daly notes, no matter how actively you listen, unless others perceive your feedback, they won’t view you as actively listening. Second, make your feedback appropriate. Different situations, speakers, and messages require more or less intensity of positive feedback. Third, make your feedback clear by avoiding behaviors that might be mistaken as negative feedback. For example, something as simple as innocently stealing a glance at your phone to see what time it is might unintentionally suggest that you’re bored or wish the person would stop speaking. Finally, always provide feedback quickly in response to what the speaker has just said.