Dealing with Misunderstanding
One downside of our frequent online communication is that it is easy to misunderstand others’ messages, often mistaking them as ruder or less clear than intended. If you need a message to be error-free, considering delivering it in person or over the phone.
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Of course, just because you use informative, honest, relevant, and clear language doesn’t guarantee that you will be understood by others. When one person misperceives another’s verbally expressed thoughts, feelings, or beliefs, misunderstanding occurs. Misunderstanding most commonly results from a failure to actively listen. Recall, for example, our discussion of action-oriented listeners in Chapter 6. Action-oriented listeners often become impatient with others while listening and frequently jump ahead to finish other people’s (presumed) points (Watson, Barker, & Weaver, 1995). This listening style can lead them to misunderstand others’ messages. To overcome this source of misunderstanding, practice the active listening skills described in Chapter 6.
Misunderstanding occurs frequently online, owing to the lack of nonverbal cues to help clarify meaning. One study found that 27.2 percent of respondents agreed that e-mail is likely to result in miscommunication of intent, and 53.6 percent agreed that it is relatively easy to misinterpret an e-mail message (Rainey, 2000). The tendency to misunderstand communication online is so prevalent that scholars suggest the following practices: If a particular message absolutely must be error-free or if its content is controversial, don’t use e-mail or text messaging to communicate it. Whenever possible, conduct high-stakes encounters face-to-face. Finally, never use e-mails, posts, or texts for sensitive actions such as professional reprimands or dismissals, or relationship breakups (Rainey, 2000).
Self-Reflection
Recall an online encounter in which you thought you understood someone’s e-mail, text message, or post, then later found out you were wrong. How did you discover that your impression was mistaken? What could you have done differently to avoid the misunderstanding?