One crucial function nonverbal communication serves is to create intimacy, the feeling of closeness and “union” that exists between us and our partners (Mashek & Aron, 2004). We frequently communicate intimacy through touch (for example, placing a hand on a friends’ arm while she speaks or snuggling with a romantic partner). But intimacy isn’t defined solely through touch. Physical closeness, shared gaze, soft voices, relaxed postures, sharing of personal objects, and, of course, spending time together—each of these nonverbal behaviors highlights and enhances intimacy. Consider just a few specifics. Smiling and gazing are associated with intimacy (Floyd & Burgoon, 1999), something vividly illustrated in the Beaver family photo in our chapter opening. Individuals share more personal space with intimates and liked others than with strangers, and use proximity to convey affection (Floyd & Morman, 1999). Studies that have instructed people to communicate liking to others have found that the primary way people do so is through increasing gaze, smiling, and leaning forward (Palmer & Simmons, 1995). Conversely, one can communicate lack of intimacy and greater formality through distance, lack of eye contact, decreased vocal expressiveness, precise articulation, and tense postures (Burgoon & Hoobler, 2002).

In general, more intimate relationships—particularly romantic bonds—show higher levels of nonverbal involvement across all of the codes (more eye contact, more touch, more smiling, closer distance, and so forth). For romantic couples, the level of nonverbal involvement is a direct indicator of the relationship’s health (Patterson, 1988). Think back to the highly engaged couple in the diner booth. Although you don’t know who they are, what they’re saying, or what culture they’re from, you could reasonably conclude that they have a healthy relationship, based solely on their nonverbal behavior.