Given that power is not innate but something that some people grant to others, how do you get power? To acquire power, you must possess or control some form of power currency, a resource that other people value (Wilmot & Hocker, 2010). Possessing or controlling a valued resource gives you influence over individuals who value that resource. Likewise, if individuals have resources you view as valuable, you will grant power to them.

Five power currencies are common in interpersonal relationships. Resource currency includes material things such as money, property, and food. If you possess material things that someone else needs or wants, you have resource power over them. Parents have nearly total resource power over young children because they control all the money, food, shelter, clothing, and other items their children need and want.

Expertise currency comprises special skills or knowledge. The more highly specialized and unique the skill or knowledge you have, the more expertise power you possess. A Stuttgart-trained Porsche mechanic commands a substantially higher wage and choicer selection of clients than a minimally trained Quick Lube oil change attendant.

A person who is linked with a network of friends, family, and acquaintances with substantial influence has social network currency . Others may value his or her ability to introduce them to people who can land them jobs, “talk them up” to potential romantic partners, or get them invitations to exclusive parties.

Personal characteristics—beauty, intelligence, charisma, communication skill, sense of humor—that people consider desirable constitute personal currency . Even if you lack resource, expertise, and social network currency, you can still achieve a certain degree of influence and stature by being beautiful, athletic, funny, or smart.

Finally, you acquire intimacy currency when you share a close bond with someone that no one else shares. If you have a unique intimate bond with someone—a lover, friend, or family member—you possess intimacy power over him or her, and he or she may do you a favor “only because you are my best friend.”

Power derives from the perception of power currencies, but views of power differ substantially across cultures. People are granted power not only according to which power currencies they possess, but also according to the degree to which those power currencies are valued in a given culture. In Asian and Latino cultures, high value is placed on resource currency; consequently, people without wealth, property, or other such material resources are likely to grant power to those who possess them (Gudykunst & Kim, 2003). In contrast, in northern European countries, Canada, and the United States, people with wealth may be admired or even envied, but they are not granted unusual power. If your rich neighbor builds a huge mansion, you might be impressed. But if her new fence crosses onto your property, you’ll confront her about it (“Sorry to bother you, but your new fence is one foot over the property line”). Members of other cultures would be less likely to say anything, given her wealth and corresponding power.