Culture and Handling Conflict
The strongest cultural factor that influences your conflict approach is whether you belong to an individualistic or a collectivistic culture (Ting-Toomey, 1997). People raised in collectivistic cultures often view direct messages regarding conflict as personal attacks (Nishiyama, 1971) and consequently are more likely to manage conflict through avoidance or accommodation. People from individualistic cultures feel comfortable agreeing to disagree and don’t necessarily see such clashes as personal affronts (Ting-Toomey, 1985). They are more likely to compete, react, or collaborate.
Popular television shows depict a variety of conflict management styles among married couples. How do these depictions match or contradict your own experiences?
(Left to right) Photo by Craig Blankenhorn/CBS via Getty Images; ABC/Photofest; NBC/Photofest; Photofest
Given these differences, how might you manage conflict competently across cultures? If you’re an individualist embroiled in a dispute with someone from a collectivistic culture, consider the following practices (Gudykunst & Kim, 2003):
- Recognize that collectivists may prefer to have a third person mediate the conflict (Kozan & Ergin, 1998). Mediators allow those in conflict to manage their disagreement without direct confrontation, thereby helping to maintain harmony in the relationship—which is especially important to collectivists.
- Use more indirect verbal messages. For example, sprinkle your comments with “maybe” and “possibly,” and avoid blunt responses such as “no.”
- Let go of the situation if the other person does not recognize that the conflict exists or does not want to deal with it.
If you’re a collectivist in contention with someone from an individualistic culture, the following guidelines may help:
- Recognize that individualists often separate conflicts from people. Just because you’re in conflict doesn’t mean that the situation is personal.
- Use an assertive style and be direct. For example, use “I” messages and candidly state your opinions and feelings.
- Manage conflicts when they arise, even if you’d much rather avoid them.