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LOQ LearningObjectiveQuestion

Simply said, your body defines your sex. Your mind defines your gender. But your mind’s understanding of gender arises from the interplay between your biology and your experiences (Eagly & Wood, 2013). Before we consider that interplay in more detail, let’s take a closer look at some ways that males and females are both similar and different.

Whether male or female, each of us receives 23 chromosomes from our mother and 23 from our father. Of those 46 chromosomes, 45 are unisex—the same for males and females. Our similar biology helped our evolutionary ancestors face similar adaptive challenges. Both men and women needed to survive, reproduce, and avoid predators, and so today we are in most ways alike. Do you identify yourself as male, female, or some combination of the two? No matter your answer, you gave no clues to your vocabulary, happiness, or ability to see, hear, learn, and remember. Whether male or female, we are, on average, similarly creative and intelligent. We feel the same emotions and longings (Hyde, 2014). Our “opposite” sex is, in reality, our very similar sex.

But in some areas, males and females do differ, and differences command attention. Some much-talked-about gender differences (like the difference in self-esteem shown in FIGURE 4.1) are actually quite modest (Zell et al., 2015). Others are more striking. The average girl enters puberty about a year earlier than the average boy, and a woman’s life span is 5 years longer. She expresses emotions more freely, smiling and crying more. And in Facebook updates, she more often mentions “love” and being “sooo excited!!!” (Fischer & LaFrance, 2015; Schwartz et al., 2013). She can detect fainter odors, receives offers of help more often, and can become sexually re-aroused sooner after orgasm. She also has twice the risk of developing depression and anxiety and 10 times the risk of developing an eating disorder. Yet the average man is 4 times more likely to die by suicide or to develop alcohol use disorder. His “more likely” list also includes autism spectrum disorder (ASD), color-deficient vision, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). And as an adult, he is more at risk for antisocial personality disorder. Male or female, each has its own share of risks.

Gender similarities and differences appear throughout this book. For now, let’s take a closer look at three gender differences. Although individuals vary greatly, the average male and female differ in aggression, social power, and social connectedness.

Aggression

To a psychologist, aggression is any physical or verbal act intended to hurt someone (physically or emotionally). Think of some aggressive people you’ve heard or read about. Are most of them men? Likely yes. Men generally admit to more aggression, especially extreme physical violence (Bushman & Huesmann, 2010; Wölfer & Hewstone, 2015). In romantic relationships between men and women, minor acts of physical aggression, such as slaps, are roughly equal, but the most violent acts are usually committed by men (Archer, 2000; Johnson, 2008).

Laboratory experiments confirm a gender difference in aggression. Men have been more willing to blast people with what they believed was intense and prolonged noise (Bushman et al., 2007). The gender gap also appears outside the laboratory. Who commits more violent crimes worldwide? Men do (Antonaccio et al., 2011; Caddick & Porter, 2012; Frisell et al., 2012). Men also take the lead in hunting, fighting, warring, and supporting war (Liddle et al., 2012; Wood & Eagly, 2002, 2007).

Here’s another question: Think of examples of people harming others by passing along hurtful gossip, or by shutting someone out of a social group or situation. Were most of those people men? Perhaps not. Those behaviors are acts of relational aggression, and women are slightly more likely than men to commit them (Archer, 2004, 2007, 2009).

Social Power

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Imagine walking into a job interview. You sit down and peer across the table at your two interviewers. The unsmiling person on the left oozes self-confidence and independence and maintains steady eye contact. The person on the right gives you a warm, welcoming smile but makes less eye contact and seems to expect the other interviewer to take the lead.

Which interviewer is male?

If you said the person on the left, you’re not alone. Around the world, from Nigeria to New Zealand, people have perceived gender differences in power (Williams & Best, 1990). Indeed, in most societies men do place more importance on power and achievement and are socially dominant (Gino et al., 2015; Schwartz & Rubel-Lifschitz, 2009).

For more on this topic, see Thinking Critically About: Gender Bias in the Workplace.

Social Connectedness

Whether male or female, we humans cherish social connections. We all have a need to belong (more on this in Chapter 9).But males and females satisfy this need in different ways (Baumeister, 2010). Males tend to be independent. Even as children, males typically form large play groups. Boys’ games brim with activity and competition, with little intimate discussion (Rose & Rudolph, 2006). As adults, males enjoy side-by-side activities, and their conversations often focus on problem solving (Tannen, 1990; Wright, 1989).

Scans of more than 1400 brains show no big differences between the sexes. “Human brains cannot be categorized into two distinct classes: male brain/female brain” (Joel et al., 2015). Brain scans do, however, suggest a subtle difference: A woman’s brain, more than a man’s, is wired in a way that enables social relationships (Ingalhalikar et al., 2013). This may help explain why females tend to be more interdependent. As children, they compete less and imitate social relationships more (Maccoby, 1990; Roberts, 1991). They usually play in small groups, often with one friend. As teens, girls spend less time alone and more time with friends (Wong & Csikszentmihalyi, 1991). Compared with their male counterparts, teen girls average twice as many daily texts and, in late adolescence, spend more time on social networking sites (Lenhart, 2012; Pryor et al., 2007, 2011). Girls’ and women’s friendships are more intimate, with more conversation that explores relationships (Maccoby, 2002).

More than a half-million people’s responses to questions about their interests indicated that “men prefer working with things and women prefer working with people” (Su et al., 2009). Men’s search for solutions and actions may contribute to their interest in working with computers. American college men are seven times more likely than women to declare an interest in computer science (Pryor et al., 2011). And consider another big-data analysis, of more than 700 million words collected from Facebook messages: Men used more work-related words, and women used more family-related words (Schwartz et al., 2013). In the workplace, women are less often driven by money and status, and they more often opt for reduced work hours (Pinker, 2008). For many, family obligations loom large. In recent years, fathers have been doing more child care, but mothers still do nearly twice as much (CEA, 2014; Parker & Wang, 2013; Pew, 2015).

Take a minute now to think about the last time you felt worried or hurt and wanted to talk with someone who would understand. Was that person male or female? At such times, most people turn to women, who are said to tend and befriend (Tamres et al., 2002; Taylor, 2002). They support others, and they, more than men, turn to others for support. Both men and women have reported that their friendships with women are more intimate, enjoyable, and nurturing (Kuttler et al., 1999; Rubin, 1985; Sapadin, 1988).

Gender differences in both social connectedness and power are greatest in late adolescence and early adulthood—the prime years for dating and mating. By their teen years, girls become less assertive and more flirtatious, and boys appear more dominant and less expressive (Chaplin, 2015). In adulthood, after the birth of a first child, attitudes and behavior differences often peak. Mothers especially may become more traditional (Ferriman et al., 2009; Katz-Wise et al., 2010).

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By age 50, most parenting-related gender differences subside. Men become less domineering and more empathic. Women—especially those with paid employment—become more assertive and self-confident (Kasen et al., 2006; Maccoby, 1998).

So, although women and men are more alike than different, there are some behavior differences between the average woman and man. Are such differences dictated by our biology? Shaped by our cultures and other experiences? Do we vary in the extent to which we are male or female? Read on.

In many physical ways, men and women are similar. We sweat to cool down, guzzle an energy drink or coffee to get going in the morning, search for darkness and quiet to sleep. When looking for a mate, we also prize many of the same traits—someone who is “kind,” “honest,” and “intelligent.” But, say evolutionary psychologists, in mating-related domains, guys act like guys whether they’re chimpanzees or elephants, rural peasants or corporate presidents (Geary, 2010).

Biology does not dictate gender, but it can influence it in two ways:

These influences began to form you long before you were born.

Prenatal Sexual Development

Six weeks after you were conceived, you and someone of the other sex looked much the same. Then, as your genes kicked in, your biological sex became more apparent. Whether you are male or female, your mother’s contribution to your twenty-third chromosome pair—the two sex chromosomes—was an X chromosome. It was your father’s contribution that determined your sex. From him, you received the 1 chromosome out of 46 that is not unisex—either another X chromosome, making you female, or a Y chromosome, making you male.

About seven weeks after conception, a single gene on the Y chromosome throws a master switch. “Turned on,” this switch triggers the testes to develop and to produce testosterone, the main androgen (male hormone) that promotes male sex organ development. (Females also have testosterone, but less of it.) Later, during the fourth and fifth prenatal months, sex hormones bathe the fetal brain and tilt its wiring toward female or male patterns (Hines, 2004; Udry, 2000).

Adolescent Sexual Development

During adolescence, boys and girls enter puberty and mature sexually. A surge of hormones triggers a two-year period of rapid physical development, beginning at about age 11 in girls and age 12 in boys, and visible male-female differences emerge. Hints of this upcoming puberty, such as enlarging testes, appear earlier (Herman-Giddens et al., 2012). A year or two before physical changes are visible, boys and girls often feel the first stirrings of sexual attraction (McClintock & Herdt, 1996).

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Girls’ slightly earlier entry into puberty can at first propel them to greater height than boys of the same age (FIGURE 4.2). But boys catch up when they begin puberty, and by age 14 they are usually taller than girls. During these growth spurts, the primary sex characteristics—the reproductive organs and external genitalia—develop dramatically. So do the nonreproductive secondary sex characteristics. Girls develop breasts and larger hips. Boys’ facial hair begins growing and their voices deepen. Pubic and underarm hair emerge in both girls and boys (FIGURE 4.3).

For boys, puberty’s landmark is the first ejaculation, which often occurs during sleep (as a “wet dream”). This event, called spermarche, usually happens by about age 14.

In girls, the landmark is the first menstrual period, menarche, usually within a year of age 12½ (Anderson et al., 2003). Genes play a major role in predicting when girls will have their first period (Perry et al., 2014). But environment matters, too. Early menarche is more likely following stresses related to father absence, sexual abuse, insecure attachments, or a history of a mother’s smoking during pregnancy (DelPriore & Hill, 2013; Rickard et al., 2014; Shrestha et al., 2011). In various countries, girls are developing breasts earlier (sometimes before age 10) and reaching puberty earlier than in the past. Suspected triggers include increased body fat, diets filled with hormone-mimicking chemicals, and, possibly, greater stress due to family disruption (Biro et al., 2010, 2012; Herman-Giddens, et al., 2012).

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Girls prepared for menarche usually view it as a positive life transition (Chang et al., 2009). Most women recall the onset of their first menstrual period with mixed emotions—pride, excitement, embarrassment, and apprehension (Greif & Ulman, 1982; Woods et al., 1983). Men report mostly positive emotional reactions to spermarche (Fuller & Downs, 1990).

Sexual Development Variations

Nature may blur the biological line between males and females. Sometimes a fetus is exposed to unusual levels of sex hormones or is especially sensitive to those hormones. These intersex individuals may be born with unusual combinations of male and female chromosomes, hormones, and anatomy. A genetic male, for example, may be born with normal male hormones and testes but no penis or a very small one. Such individuals may struggle to identify their gender identity.

In the past, medical professionals often recommended sex-reassignment surgery to create a clear sex identity for such children. One study reviewed 14 cases of genetic boys who had undergone early sex-reassignment surgery and been raised as girls. Of those cases, 6 later declared themselves male, 5 were living as females, and 3 reported an unclear gender identity (Reiner & Gearhart, 2004). Today, experts generally recommend postponing surgery until a child’s naturally developing physical appearance and gender identity become clear.

These conditions raise the question: What makes a biological male or female? In 2015, this question made the sports pages when Indian sprinter Dutee Chand was found to have natural testosterone levels higher than most females. The International Association of Athletics Federations suspended Chand, forcing her to miss several events. The Court of Arbitration for Sport finally ruled in favor of Chand, allowing her to continue to compete as a woman.

In one famous case, a little boy lost his penis during a botched circumcision. His parents followed a psychiatrist’s advice to raise him as a girl rather than as a damaged boy. So, with male chromosomes and hormones and female upbringing, did nature or nurture form this child’s gender identity? Although raised as a girl, “Brenda” Reimer was not like most other girls. “She” didn’t like dolls. She tore her dresses with rough-and-tumble play. At puberty she wanted no part of kissing boys. Finally, Brenda’s parents explained what had happened, whereupon “Brenda” immediately rejected the assigned female identity. He cut his hair and chose a male name, David. He eventually married a woman and became a stepfather. And, sadly, he later committed suicide (Colapinto, 2000). The bottom line: “Sex matters,” concluded the National Academy of Sciences (2001). Sex-related genes and physiology “result in behavioral and cognitive differences between males and females.” Yet environmental factors matter, too, as we will see next. Nature and nurture work together.

For many people, biological sex and gender exist together in harmony. Biology draws the outline, and culture paints the details. The physical traits that define a newborn as male or female are the same worldwide. But the gender traits that define how men (or boys) and women (or girls) should act, interact, and feel about themselves differ from one time and place to another.

Gender Roles

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Cultures shape our behaviors by defining how we ought to behave in a particular social position, or role. We can see this shaping power in gender roles— the social expectations that guide our behavior as men or as women. Gender roles shift over time and they differ from place to place.

In just a thin slice of history, gender roles have undergone an extreme makeover, worldwide. At the beginning of the twentieth century, only one country in the world—New Zealand—granted women the right to vote (Briscoe, 1997). Effective 2015, all countries granted that right. A century ago, American women could not vote in national elections, serve in the military, or divorce a husband without cause. And if a woman worked for pay, she would more likely have been a midwife or a servant than a surgeon or a college professor. Now, more U.S. women than men graduate from college, and nearly half the workforce is female (DOL, 2015). This trend will likely continue. For example, in the STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), men currently hold most faculty positions (Ceci et al., 2014; Sheltzer & Smith, 2014). But when researchers invited U.S. professors to recommend candidates for STEM positions, most said they preferred hiring the highly qualified women over the equally qualified men (Williams & Ceci, 2015). The modern economy has produced jobs that rely not on brute strength but on social intelligence, open communication, and the ability to sit still and focus (Rosin, 2010). What changes might the next hundred years bring?

Take a minute to check your own gender expectations. Would you agree that “When jobs are scarce, men should have more rights to a job”? In the United States, Britain, and Spain, a little over 12 percent of adults agree. In Nigeria, Pakistan, and India, about 80 percent of adults agree (Pew, 2010). This question taps people’s views on the idea that men and women should be treated equally. We’re all human, but my, how our views differ. Northern European countries offer the greatest gender equity, Middle Eastern and North African countries the least (UN, 2015).

How Do We Learn Gender?

A gender role describes how others expect us to think, feel, and act. Our gender identity is our personal sense of being male, female, or, occasionally, some combination of the two. How do we develop that personal viewpoint?

Social learning theory assumes that we acquire our gender identity in childhood, by observing and imitating others’ gender-linked behaviors and by being rewarded or punished for acting in certain ways. (“Tatiana, you’re such a good mommy to your dolls”; “Big boys don’t cry, Armand.”) But some critics think there’s more to gender identity than imitating parents and being rewarded for certain responses. They ask us to consider how much gender typing— taking on a traditional male or female role—varies from child to child (Tobin et al., 2010).

Parents do help to transmit their culture’s views on gender. In one analysis of 43 studies, parents with traditional gender views were more likely to have gender-typed children who shared their culture’s expectations about how males and females should act (Tenenbaum & Leaper, 2002). But no matter how much parents encourage or discourage traditional gender behavior, children may drift toward what feels right to them. Some organize themselves into “boy worlds” and “girl worlds,” each guided by their understanding of the rules. Other children seem to prefer androgyny: A blend of male and female roles feels right to them. Androgyny has benefits. As adults, androgynous people are more adaptable. They are more flexible in their actions and in their career choices (Bem, 1993). They tend to bounce back more easily from bad events. They accept themselves and are depressed less often (Lam & McBride-Chang, 2007; Mosher & Danoff-Burg, 2008; Ward, 2000).

How we feel matters, but so does how we think. Early in life, we all form schemas, or concepts that help us make sense of our world. Our gender schemas organize our experiences of male-female characteristics and help us think about our gender identity, about who we are (Bem, 1987, 1993; Martin et al., 2002).

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As young children, we were “gender detectives” (Martin & Ruble, 2004). Before our first birthday, we knew the difference between a male and female voice or face (Martin et al., 2002). After we turned 2, language forced us to label the world in terms of gender. English classifies people as he and she. Other languages classify objects as masculine (“le train”) or feminine (“la table”).

Once children grasp that two sorts of people exist—and that they are of one of these two sorts—they search for clues about gender. In every culture, people communicate their gender in many ways. Their gender expression drops hints not only in their language but also in their clothes, toys, books, media, and games. Having picked up such clues, 3-year-olds may divide the human world in half. They will then like their own kind better and seek them out for play. “Girls,” they may decide, are the ones who watch My Little Pony and have long hair. “Boys” watch Transformers battles and don’t wear dresses. Armed with their newly collected “proof,” they then adjust their behaviors to fit their concept of gender. These stereotypes are most rigid at about age 5 or 6. If the new neighbor is a boy, a 6-year-old girl may assume that she cannot share his interests. In a young child’s life, gender looms large.

For a transgender person, gender identity differs from the behaviors or traits considered typical for that person’s biological sex (APA, 2010; Bockting, 2014). From childhood onward, a person may feel like a male in a female body, or a female in a male body (Olson et al., 2015). In most countries, it’s not easy being transgender. In a national survey of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans, 71 percent saw “some” or “a lot” of social acceptance for gay men, and 85 percent said the same for lesbians. But only 18 percent saw similar acceptance for transgender people (Sandstrom, 2015).

Transgender people may attempt to align their outward appearance with their internal gender identity by dressing as a person of the other biological sex typically would. Some transgender people are also transsexual: They prefer to live as members of the other birth sex. Brain scans reveal that those (about 75 percent men) who seek medical sex-reassignment have some neural tracts that differ from those of nontransgender men and women (Kranz et al., 2014; Van Kesteren et al., 1997). Note that gender identity is distinct from sexual orientation (the direction of one’s sexual attraction). Transgender people may be sexually attracted to people of the other birth sex (heterosexual), the same birth sex (homosexual), both sexes (bisexual), or to no one at all (asexual). Your sexual orientation, as some say, is who you fantasize going to bed with; your gender identity is who you go to bed as.