A thesis statement needs to be assertive. Since readers are efficient and skeptical, they expect clear and direct language.

Consider this thesis statement:

In my humble opinion, there are too many students dropping out of high school, and the community should be taking action to prevent this from happening.

This sentence is timid. The phrase “In my humble opinion” makes readers doubt the claim from start.

This sentence is also wordy. To make it more concise, figure out the problem, the actors, and the solution.

Problem: students dropping out of high school

Actors: community

Solution: prevention

The revised thesis statement features only these elements:

Our community should be more proactive about preventing high school drop-outs.

This version is much improved, but it still lacks clarity about the proposed solution.

Our community should start a mentoring program to preventing high school drop-outs.

This version is assertive. It is clear and direct. There are no wasted words. Nothing about thesis statement is polarizing; it is not bold in a negative way.

To make a thesis assertive, commit to narrowing your topic and to making choosing your words wisely.